


First Love/Late Spring

by SoLetUsBeLate



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Banter, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grumpy Carmilla, Humor, Oblivious Laura Hollis, Vampire Carmilla
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2019-10-10 17:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 38,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17430263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoLetUsBeLate/pseuds/SoLetUsBeLate
Summary: Everything started when Laura managed to piss off Carmilla, an upperclassman with a bit of an attitude. Most people were scared of Carmilla and so was Laura; until Laura just found her infuriating, and to be honest, kinda weird. To be fair, Carmilla did act rather strangely around her. Will her opinion about the girl change?Laconic: Carmilla without the Sumerian Mythos. The other plotlines are a surprise. Also a Mitski-inspired ficofficial playlist





	1. The Cute Goth Chick from the Library

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished my first fic (oneshot) like a day before doing this one. So this is is my first multi-chapter fic, and I hope to see this to the end. I hope you're with me til then. :)
> 
> The title is from a song by Mitski with the same title. Please listen to it if you want to get a feel of how the story will go.
> 
>  
> 
> Last notes:  
> I type everything out with my phone. I don't have a beta, and English is not my first language. I hope you still enjoy despite all those excuses for my shitty writing. Thank you.

It's been a week and a half since Laura started attending Silas University, and she's still very much excited for whatever college education might throw her way. Autumn is in full swing in Styria and she's been learning an awful lot, so much that she already had an outline for her Journ101 term paper, which was due months away. _Nothing can bring down my enthusiasm._ She thought to herself. _**Nothing.**_

Laura then proceeded to royally piss off a popular upperclassman. Not once. Not twice. But _thrice._

The first time was at the library. She was trying to get copies of Margaret Mead's letters to Ruth Benedict, the assigned reading for her anthropology elective, where she was the assigned (or rather, volunteered) beadle. She got the book that had the compiled the letters and went to the photocopying machine. She was already a few copies in when she noticed a pretty girl standing mere steps away from her. _Probably one of those goths._ Laura tried to think of where she saw her before, feeling oddly familiar to the tiny girl.

Her dark eyes were wide, glaring at Laura, and _very_ visibly upset.

The woman with long, dark hair and red lips was holding a thick book on epistemology, and seemed to have been standing there for a while, waiting for Laura to notice her. She looked like she was on her way to the machine, only for a freshman to beat her to it. Her brows were furrowed and here lips were parted, as if to say something. Laura was about to smile politely at the girl when she walked away, stomping. Laura did not think much of it until she asked Lafontaine, an upperclassman staying in the same dormitories, about the odd encounter.

The second time was at the cafeteria. By then, she had already learned from Lafontaine that the girl was called Carmilla, a junior enrolled in the Philosophy program, and was very popular, especially among freshman girls. _Oh, so that's why she seemed familiar._ Laf told her about how the girl was snarky and moody, but still had a certain _charm_ with the ladies. Lafontaine warned Laura to never cross Carmilla again, as she had a bit of a cruel streak. _What a waste of a perfectly good lesbian._ Laura remembers thinking to herself. But such was fate.

She was about to queue for the limited vegetarian options in the mess hall when she saw Carmilla again, nostrils flared and eyes decorated with the perfect eye make up narrowed, as if about to queue for the same fare. It dawned on her that she might have cut the line again on the woman, so she tried to offer her place in line. Before she could speak, the other woman turned away with a huff.

Laura went to Lafontaine's room to tell them about the encounter. Perry, their roommate and her floor don, was there as well, tidying up her shelves. Laf clicked their tongue at her.

"Ah, you've done it now frosh," Laf snickered.

"Wouldn't she be overreacting if she makes my life miserable just because of that?!"

"Well she did threaten to cut off my finger when I was in freshman year, based on suspicion alone." Perry murmured as she dusted her books.

"You were saying something, Perry?" Laura asked.

"Nothing!"

"Anyway," Lafontaine interrupted, "you have to avoid her now. Who knows what kind of kinky punishment she'd give you? She's trouble, L. Steer clear."

"Oh, as if _you_ of all people have the ascendancy to tell Laura that," Perry chimed in. Laf rolled their eyes and gave Perry a pointed look. Perry giggled and spoke up again. "Well, yes, I do agree with you." She turned to face Laura. "Just be careful, dear." She said all serious and knowing, freaking Laura out.

Laura then made it a point to avoid Carmilla at all costs. She never ventured into the Social Sciences building, where the Philosophy department was. She never went to the library or the cafeteria alone. She had Danny, her Lit TA and the girl she was in a relationship limbo with, to thank for that, although not being alone was not exactly her own choice. It secretly annoyed her to no end. On a few occasions, Laura went as far as to hide in the bushes or the men's restrooms whenever Carmilla was brooding in sight.

Days passed and Laura's life started to go back to normal, memories of that cute goth girl way behind her. Halloween was just a week away, and Danny invited her to the Summer Society's costume party in a kinda-not-but-hopefully-kinda-is date. Things are looking up, and peaceful days are ahead for tiny Laura Hollis.

Alas, Laura had no such luck.

Betty, her roommate, suddenly transferred to Princeton. Something about how going to Silas was a mistake, and that she never actually intended to go there. That her mind was destined for greater things. Laura was thus roommate-less three weeks into the winter semester, just when they started becoming friendly.

And of course, the third time of the close encounters with the unknown had to be on the very next day at How You Bean, a coffee shop a few ways off Silas campus. Laura, feeling a bit lonely inside the dorm room, opted to work someplace else. She brought her laptop to the cafe in the early morning, anticipating that there would be a tad less people then, to write an entry for a feminist fiction conference in the university. There was a cash grant for selected papers, but she really just wanted to compose a feminist reading of Revolutionary Girl Utena.

Laura heard her name being called by the barista, her hot chocolate and cupcake ready. She made to approach the counter when she bumped into someone, their cold brew spilling over them.

"What the flying f--!"

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! Here, let me wipe it off for you," Laura said as she frantically tried to wipe the white low cut v-neck with her handkerchief. When Laura looked up, it was the last face she wanted to see. _Holy shirtballs._ Laura froze in her place, eyes locked with Carmilla, hand still hovering over the dark-haired girl's wet chest. Carmilla seemed to freeze for a brief second, too, but she quickly recovered and immediately went off on the younger girl.

"Your ancestors didn't go through the trouble of evolving their eyes for you to run into shit like that. Fucking use them!"

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Didn't mean to what? Be born? I'm sure your parents are just as sorry that the condom broke. Casse couille!"

Laura did not understand the last one, but what she did understand was enough to turn her face red with anger and embarassment. "Now you don't need to be rude! I said I'm sorry, okay?" Carmilla seemed to be readying herself to go off on another tirade but Laura interrupted her. "I'll buy you another stupid coffee and I'll clean your stupid shirt, but don't you think for one second that I'll just stand here and quietly take crap from you just because you're older."

To her surprise, Carmilla laughed. She did not grin, smirk, or give her one of the seductive smiles that her classmates had been raving about. No, Carmilla was practically _howling._

Laura simply stood there, feeling like an idiot. She didn't get what was happening. She had heard so much about how broody and flirty were the only two moods of this woman, so a laugh was not at all what she expected. Carmilla slowly calmed down and wiped off the tears at the corner of her eyes.

"Is this how you ask out ladies? Because if it is, it's only half-working."

Laura made a bunched up face, confused, annoyed, and a bit flustered at the same time. _People really weren't lying about the mood swings and the shameless flirting._

Laura hurriedly tried to change the subject. "How are you not cold wearing just that?" 

"Oh, this?" Carmilla motioned to her tight black shorts and stained white v-neck, her dark, lacy bra visible under the wet shirt. "It's because I'm actually an undead fiend, cupcake. I don't feel cold." Carmilla smirked.

"I didn't know undead fiends are ever up this early," Laura replied sarcastically.

"I'm not up early. I haven't even been 'down' yet."

"Oh. So that's why you were so grumpy."

"Aw shucks! Is there anything you can't deduce, Nancy Drew?"

Laura sighed. A few exchanges in and she was already exhausted trying to talk to this woman. She took out her pocket notepad and pen to scribble something.

"Whatcha writing there, Steve? Is it Blue's first clue?"

Laura rolled her eyes as she ripped a page off the notepad and handed it to Carmilla. "It's my number. I can get you another coffee now, but I can't take your shirt. Text me when you can give it to me so I can wash it."

Carmilla took the paper and stared at it, her face expressionless. She eventually pocketed it and smiled mischievously at Laura. "Who says I can't do that right now?" Carmilla took off her shirt and threw it to Laura's face. She went to the coat rack, grabbed a random jacket, and put it on. She winked at Laura as she zipped it up. "You'll get me coffee when I deem you worthy of a date. Later, cutie."

Laura stood there alone, dumb-founded, mouth hanging agape, shirt slowly dropping from her face. She caught the shirt and placed it on her table, then slowly made her way to the counter to get her order. She took it back to her table and sat there in a daze. After a few minutes, she realized her oversight.

"That was my jacket!"


	2. I Like Danny, Remember?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of the clusterfuck that is Laura's love life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been on a bit of a slump so i'm very sorry it took me so long to give such a short chapter. The brevity worked for the pacing so i uploaded it nonetheless. I promise I'll make it longer when it works.

"Come on, come on..."

It was one o'clock on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. It was a pretty good time for a walk and hold hands with some romantic ideal person, the air just the right amount of crisp; the perfect excuse to keep your body close to someone. Lafontaine had no business thinking of walks right now, however, as they were alone in their dorm room, in the middle of some experiment. They were carefully transferring toluene from one test tube to another, holding both at eye level, when someone suddenly barged into their room, making them almost spill the chemical.

"Laf! I'm so glad you're here!"

"Dammit frosh, I almost got that on my face!" Laf placed the test tubes on the test tube rack and clutched their chest as they exhaled audibly. "The fumes off of this stuff are bad for you, girl."

"Gosh, I'm so sorry Laf!" Laura ran to Laf and gave them a quick hug. "Though to be fair, for someone who claims to want to be a scientist, you sure don't exercise proper lab safety precautions," Laura said as she pointedly looked around the dorm room, emphasizing the absence of exhaust fans and toxic waste bins.

"Hey, this is just homework," Laf shrugged. "Don't tell Perr about this."

"I don't think I have to. I'm sure she'll smell it herself," Laura giggled. "And hey, I thought you were a biology major. Why are you doing chemistry stuff?"

"Believe it or not, chemistry's a required subject. I need a total of 15 units of it, and I'm already lagging behind my lab reports for the first five this semester."

Laura hummed in response, sitting on the edge of Laf's bed. Lafontaine had a lab gown on, latex gloves, and a surgical mask. They looked like a proper scientist just like in the movies, and Laura wondered if she would ever look like a proper journalist, short stature and all. "So where's Perr?"

"She's out grocery-shopping. She's getting us those grape sodas you love so much for movie night."

"Aw yesss!" Laura pumped her fist in the air.

"Anyway..." Laf chuckled. "What brings you to our humble abode?"

Laura jumped as she remembered why she was there in the first place. She proceeded to recount the events earlier in the day; how she bumped into Carmilla, made her spill coffee on herself, the infuriating demeanor of the woman, and of course, the shock out of said woman stripping right in front of her (and seeing the absolutely most glorious boobs she'd seen, not that she'd admit it, and not that she'd seen enough to properly make that conclusion).

To her annoyance, Laf merely responded with a laugh. A laughing Laf. For five whole minutes.

Laf eventually reeled their mirth back in and stood before Laura, putting a hand on Laura's shoulder.

"Sounds like someone's got a bit of a crush."

"What? No! I don't have a crush on her! I like Danny, remember?"

"I meant her. What made you think I was talking about you?" Laf asked in a teasing tone.

Laura opened and closed her mouth as if to say something, words caught in her throat. She managed to speak a few moments later. "Very funny, Laf."

"Anyway, at the very least, she sounds like she found a new plaything. She didn't do anything bad right?"

"Well, she did insult me. And plaything, really? But pretty much, yeah. Nothing all too bad. So?"

"Maybe that means she's interested or something. I heard she's a bit of a sadist with people who offend her."

"She's weird as heck is what she is, Laf. I mean, who does that? Stripping in public, really? Not to mention the first two times I met her, she was acting shadier than all the lampshades in my room. I still don't think cutting in line is enough to piss anyone off. She might think it's quirky to act angry all the time, but she's not winning any cuteness points with that routine."

"Did you want her to win cuteness points..?"

"No, of course not!"

This went on for a while. Laf had so much fun teasing Laura that they did not notice the time and completely forgot about the lab report. Perry arrived as the two were bantering, and she chastised Laf upon seeing all the lab implements scattered in their room. She made them clean and disinfect the room with her, and Laura exited the room laughing at Laf. _Serves them right._

Lafontaine was just about to get back to their lab report when Perry suddenly made a random squeal-like noise.

"What is it, Perr?"

"Oh, I forgot that I had something to say to Laura. And she was just here, too. Bummer."

"And that is?" Laf stood up and went beside Perry, wrapping one arm over her shoulder. Perry then showed them a letter from the Dean of Students.

"Laura has a new roommate. She's supposed to come in today. The replacement is pretty fast, don't you think?"

Laf giggled in excitement. "Oooh, boy."  
…

Laura made her way to Room 307, intent on finally finishing the Utena paper before ordering take out for dinner. She barely got anything done today, after the early morning encounter with Carmilla and Laf's relentless teasing. Sure, she missed Betty already, but some alone time would not be bad.

She put her hand on the door knob, noticing that the door was slightly open. _Huh? That's strange. I'm sure I locked it before I left._ Laura swallowed hard and steeled herself, preparing to fight whoever broke and entered her room. Her krav maga training comes in handy at times like these.

As she slowly entered the room, she saw stuff that weren't hers: a huge duffel bag on the floor and some black clothes strewn around, and several heavy-looking hardbound books, bearing titles she'd never seen such as Nicomachean Ethics and Baghwad Geeta. She spotted some vinyl records by artists that ranged from Mama Cass to Mitski, both artists she's never tried listening to, lying around as well. Her own stuff seemed to be untouched.

Her shoulders relaxed a bit without her noticing when she saw a familiar silhouette, rummaging through her secret food stash

_Wait, rummaging through my stash!?_

"Hey, those are my cookies!"

The silhouette turned around. There she was, with ultra thick eyeliner and disheveled bed hair, still donning tight black shorts and the gray Totoro jacket she took from the cafe. She merely raised her perfectly sculpted eyebrows at Laura, not having the decency to look embarassed as Laura caught her taking her cookies.

Laura stomped her way to Carmilla, a bit annoyed and a bit flustered, Laf's incessant teasing earlier getting to her now that Carmilla was right in front of her. "What are you doing in my room?" She demanded.

"Got a letter from the Dean of Students." Carmilla gave her a smile that slowly growed wider. "Says I'm your new roommate."

"You have got to be freaking kidding me!"

"Well, cutie." A cold slender finger tapped Laura on the nose. "Looks like I won't need your number to get you to take me out for that coffee you owed me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. The Summer Society's Halloween Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn a bit more about everyone. I suck at summaries I'm so sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly longer chapter than the first two.
> 
> CW: Slight Hollence. (haha)
> 
> Still doing this writing thing entirely on my phone. Still no betas. And English is still my second language, no matter how hard I try. (lol)
> 
> By the way, I've been listening to StyriaTypical. Ever since they had that episode where Angie (if i remember correctly) mentioned that when fics use lines from the show, it took her out of the reading experience, the same thing happened to me. Found it hard to ignore. Now, I'm actively trying to avoid doing the same thing because of it.
> 
> So shout out to Bangie--if ever you come across this shitty excuse for a fanfic, I just wanted you to know that I'm a fan. Thank you for your love for Carmilla. *lesbian salute*

"Calm down, L."

"She's just... ugh!"

October is on its last days, and Laura had been sharing a room with Carmilla for several days now. Suffice to say, it was the absolute worst. It was so bad, Laura forgot the whole Laf trying to insinuate that the girl liked her thing, as that upperclassman seemed intent to be awful to her.

The girl kept stealing Laura's snacks. She'd been leaving all her underwear, both clean and worn, strewn across the floor. Laura even found some black lingerie on her own bed, which left her flushed and disgusted at the same time. At the very least, she got her Totoro jacket back and got to give back Carmilla's shirt right after washing it; she didn't need a constant reminder of how wonderfully perky those infuriating woman's breasts are. Any thought that Carmilla was mind-numbingly sexy was pushed away by the fact that the shower drain was clogged with hair, which is starting to make her believe she was actually living with a cat. And right now, Carmilla was off doing god knows what with some girl in their room. Laura wanted to take a nap, but once she opened the door to see unkempt hair and red faces, or rather, one unfamiliar blushing face and one annoying face unrepentantly flashing her a smirk, she came right back out and went straight to the cafeteria. Thankfully, she ran into Danny, who was all too happy to keep her company. They were sitting across each other, drinks in hand.

"You know, we can hang out in your dorm room next time, if you like. That way you wouldn't feel like a third wheel when she's bringing someone in. Or you know, maybe she'd stop bringing other people in when you do. Like you're taking turns or something."

"I doubt she'll be that considerate."

Danny snorted, mostly amused at Laura's little facial expressions.

"Don't worry about it. She'll probably mellow out. I'm guessing she's doing those things mostly to get a rise out of you."

"Doesn't make her any less of a jerk."

"I didn't say she wasn't." Danny smiled. "Do you want me to talk to her for you?"

"No!" Laura said a little too loudly. "I mean, there's no need for that. I've been talking to her myself."

"And has she been listening?"

"Well, no-"

"So let me just go talk to her for you. Maybe I can scare her off a little bit."

"I can take care of it myself, Danny." Laura saw Danny's shoulders sag a bit and quickly added, "Thank you anyway." Laura hoped that that was the end of discussion. She just wanted somebody to listen to her rant about her b-word that rhymes with witch roommate, not someone to come up with solutions for her.

Danny cleared her throat. "So, um, you still up for the Halloween party tomorrow?"

Laura's eyes lit up. This was one thing she was excited to do: party for the first time after a full month in university. Following the stress of trying to avoid Carmilla, losing her roommate, then getting Carmilla for a roommate, all these on top of all her schoolwork, she wanted nothing more than to blow off some steam. "Yes! Of course!"

"Do you have any plans for your costume?"

"I'm thinking Lois Lane. But I've done that almost every year. Ugh I don't know what to wear. Should I still do Lois Lane? I mean, I like her, obviously, but do I wanna do that at my first college halloween party? What do you think? I'm sorry I'm bothering you with this, I don't know what to-"

"Nah, Laura. It's fine." Danny giggled. "I was thinking... Do you wanna do a couple's costume together?"

Laura almost choked on her soda. "A c-couple's costume?"

Danny fiddled with her energy drink. "Yeah, I mean, only if it's okay with you."

Laura felt that they were finally close to defining what exactly they were. After weeks of subtle flirting, study sessions, and hanging out, Danny Lawrence was asking her to do a couple's costume with her. It wasn't as clear as she'd like, but it was good enough. The word couple is in it. Anyway, dating a student is probably off limits to TAs. She wasn't sure, but she would be if she ever gets around to reading the ridiculously thick student handbook. This couple's costume is probably as close as it gets.

"Yes! I'd love that! What did you have in mind?"

Danny came as close to her as possible and whispered her idea. Laura smiled as she heard what Danny had to say.

"Oh that's good!" She watched the heck out of that show as a kid. If she was being honest, she still probably watches it from time to time now.

"I'll take care of the costumes. I'll bring you yours when I come pick you up for the party." Danny stood up. "It's almost 6 p.m. I'll take you back to your dorm."

Laura instinctively looked at her phone to check the time. "Oh man, it's that late?"

"Time flies by real fast when you're with someone you like," Danny winked. Laura blushed and gave Danny's arm a playful punch as she got up.

They walked across campus, talking about fandoms and the fall of tumblr until they reached the dorms, and eventually, room 307. Laura opened the door to her room and was about to enter when Danny took her hand. Danny squeezed it and smiled at Laura. "Text me tonight, yeah? I'll see you tomorrow." With that, Danny left.

Laura closed the door and squealed with joy, cupping her face with her hands.

"Finally got a girlfriend, cutie?"

Laura froze. She didn't even notice that Carmilla was there. She looked up to see Carmilla sitting on her bed, wearing nothing but an oversized Mayday Parade shirt that went down to just above her knees, the book The Alchemist in her hands.

"Why are you in my bed?"

"Thought I'd keep it warm for you while you were gone."

"Why, thank you," Laura answered with as much sarcasm she could let drip in her voice.

"You're very welcome, creampuff," Carmilla drawled.

After a beat, Laura sighed. "Get off my bed, Carmilla."

Carmilla stretched and yawned, closing her book, and then her eyes. She moved at a very leisurely pace, putting one socked foot on the floor at a time, making a show of it, knowing that her legs were exposed as the shirt hiked up. She stretched her arms again as she watched Laura looking at her impatiently, tapping her foot like a mother upset with a petulant child. She eventually stood up, her things in her ams, and plopped to her own bed.

Laura followed her to her bed and snatched the yellow pillow from her arms, and took it back to her side of the room.

"Did you really think I wouldn't notice that?

Carmilla ignored the question and asked one herself, pretending to look confused. "How does that work, huh?"

"How does what work?"

"You and the whomping willow. How do you two even do it? What would you do, a 79?"

"Very original."

"And maybe she'd let you try weed for the first time, but only if it's with her. She has that whole vibe going on. Then she'd get high and you'd get medium."

"Now that's just mean. You're like, what? Maybe 3 cm taller than me?"

"Still gonna be 3 cm higher than your little hobbit legs can reach, cupcake."

Laura rolled her eyes. "Anyway, we're not even dating. Yet. I don't know."

"Ask me if I care."

"You're the one who started asking about her."

Carmilla didn't answer, already back to reading her book. Laura sighed again as she went to her laptop and started to do her homework for a core subject. She thought about applying Marshall McLuhan's key ideas to the show Black Mirror and just went to town with it. She was so engrossed with her work that she didn't notice that it was already 2 am, and that Carmilla was gone.

"So... Grumpy Cat is gone, huh? It's payback time," Laura said to no one in particular.

She went to their mini-fridge and took Carmilla's soymilk, which was off-limits because "What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine." She'll be making her cocoa with that tonight.

She tipped the box to her kettle and saw thick, red liquid pour out. She let go of the box in her surpise, almost spilling the contents on the floor. She looked inside the kettle and sniffed the contents, smelling something metallic.

"Oh god, it's blood!"

Laura turned around to see that Carmilla was at the door, just entering the room, looking in horror as she saw Laura with her soymilk. Carmilla's expression quickly changed from horrified Alice to a cheshire cat grin.

"Ha! Totally got you. I knew you couldn't keep your hands to your stuff."

"W-what?"

"You just got pranked, idiot."

"Do you use blood in all your pranks, weirdo?"

"Well it is Halloween today, cupcake."

"And this was your plan all along?"

"Yep." Carmilla smiled smugly, her chin up, nostrils flaring.

Laura was annoyed that her kettle had blood in it, but she had no choice but to clean it out. She ran soapy water into the kettle and washed it.

"Where were you, anyway?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Is it really that difficult for you to just answer questions instead of being annoying?"

"Is it really that difficult for you to mind your own damn business?"

"A simple no would have sufficed."

Carmilla simply grunted and buried herself in her pillows.

.....

 

It was the night of the Halloween party and Laura couldn't be more excited. Danny had brought her the costume, complete with a wig. What more, her terrible roommate left the two of them alone. She wore the blue collared shirt, white sweater, and blue pants in her bathroom as Danny waited inside the room. She tied the orange scarf around her neck and fixed the wig on her head, making sure no strand of hair was peeking. Feeling satisfied, she went out of the bathroom.

"So, how do I look?"

Danny stood up from Laura's bed and smiled, pressing her hands together and gave Laura a dreamy look.

"You're as dashing as ever, Freddie."

Laura giggled. "Thanks, Daph."

Danny took Laura's hand as they walked to the party at the Summer Society house. It was only 7 pm but the house was already full of people. Somehow, Laura managed to bump into Laf inside.

"Hey frosh, nice costume!" Laf was wearing a jumpsuit and yellow goggles, some wierd backpack thing on their back. "I'm Holtzmann!"

Laura grinned. "Nice! Your props look real good, too!"

"Who says these were props? These are all actual lab equipment."

"What! Are you allowed to do that?"

"Nah, I'm just messin' with ya. Have you seen Merida anywhere?"

"You talking about Perry?" Laf nodded. "No, I haven't." After a second, Laura added, "That doesn't sound like Perr at all. Apart from the hair, I mean."

"Yeah, she said she was being ironic. She knows she's the furthest thing from that feisty lady." Laf snorted. "Who's this gorgeous Daphne, by the way?"

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I was being so rude. Danny, Lafontaine. Lafontaine, Danny. Laf, Danny's my Lit TA, Danny, Laf's a friend who lives in the same dorms."

"Nice to meet you," Danny said with a smile.

"Oh so this is the Danny you wouldn't shut u-" Laf was interrupted by an elbow to their stomach that had them clutching it in pain. After a moment, they amended. "I have heard so much about you."

"Good things I hope," Danny laughed. Laf smiled at Laura, teasing, and moved on to another topic before they got elbowed again.

"You should've told me you two were doing those costumes. We could've went as the whole gang. I'd be Velma, Perry would be dead ass perfect as Shaggy but only for the scared part, not for the believing in ghosts part." Laura laughed at that comment. "That guy could probably pass as Scoobs." Laf said, pointing to a tall, handsome guy near the open bar. He was goofing around and seemed like a pretty harmless guy.

"Who, Kirsch?" Laura said.

"You know him?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, we're in a class together. He said he was held up in that subject and asked for help. A bit too bro-ey but pretty cool for a frat guy."

"Don't trust those Zeta guys, L. They're misogynistic pricks."

Laura looked at Danny questioningly and was about to prod further when Laf spoke up again.

"Your new roommate could be the monster of the week," they giggled.

Laura snorted out loud and slapped Laf's arm. Laf rubbed their arm, feigning hurt, then good-naturedly hooked their arm around Laura's shoulder.

"I'm getting drinks. What would you two like?"

"I'll have a beer, thank you." Laf said.

"I'll have a Kahlua milk, if you have any. Just beer if not."

Danny went to the open bar to get their drinks, Laura smiling as she looked at the tall girl's back.

"So, Daphne huh," Laf nudged Laura playfully.

"Yeah, yeah."

"You make a very handsome Fred. Didn't know Daphne was so damn tall, though!"

"Yeah, well. More for me to climb," Laura winked.

"Hollis, you saucy temptress," Laf grinned. "So, what's going on with you two? Finally dating?"

Laura sighed. "I don't know. She's the one who suggested the costumes so that's gotta be a good sign, right?"

"Hm, I guess."

Danny came back with their drinks; a beer each for her and Laf, and a Kahlua milk for Laura.

"Hey, L. I just have shifts for the beer stations and as roving security," Danny said. "You okay here with ghostbusters?"

"Yeah, I'm good," Laura smiled.

"Alright. Don't drink too much, okay?" Danny looked at Laf. "Keep an eye on her for me, will ya?" Laf gave her a two-finger salute. With a squeeze of Laura's hand, Danny left.

Laf looked at Laura pointedly. "Is she always like that?"

"Like what?"

"A bit, um, protective?"

"No, she's not."

"Yeah she is."

"Nah."

"Yeah. She is. Try to really think about it."

Laura appeared to think it over. Her eyes grew wide in realization.

"Oh god Laf, why'd you have to point it out? It'll be hard to unsee it!"

"I'm just tellin' it like it is." Laf looked behind Laura and seemed to recognize someone. "Hey, is that Carmilla?"

Laura looked behind her and saw Carmilla wearing a gray tank top, blue jeans, and red boots. She had a red bass guitar strapped to her body, and two marks on her neck.

"What's up Marceline?"

"Holtzmann." Carmilla nodded. Laura looked at the two, confused that the two seemed to know each other personally, considering that Laf had warned her to stay away from Carmilla.

"Nice to see you here, jerkface." Laura finally said.

"I knew you missed me so I stopped by." Carmilla snickered.

"You playing a set here?" Laf asked.

"Nah. This is just a prop. Use your face eyes, bub, this is more of a rave party."

"Man, I was excited over nothing."

"Never sorry to disappoint. See you around, Weasly." Carmilla turned to leave but stopped, and added, "Cupcake." With that, she left for the bar.

Laura looked at Lafontaine incredulously. "So you two are friendly."

"I guess." Laf shrugged.

Laura wanted to ask further but the DJ chose that moment to pump up the volume. People cheered and it was a riot. Laura abandoned the thought and downed her drink, placing the cup down to just dance with Laf. It was just short of a miracle that Perry found them a few minutes later, and all three of them just enjoyed the party together.

Danny never came back to her that night.


	4. How You Bean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura goes to the cafe to look for something with her hangover amd to meet up with Danny. Something else catches her attention.

_**Danny (1:27 p.m.):** Hey Laura, what's up? I'm really sorry about last night. Can we talk?_

Laura groaned as she slowly sat up, her hands cradling her head. She was in the middle of a terrible headache, and the text from Danny was a sort of small comfort. She was bummed that Danny left her last night, but she did enjoy spending time with Laf and Perry, partying with them all night long.

Of course, the big fat disappointment of finding out that last night was apprently not a date did not help with her massive hangover. The kahlua milk did her in; the sweet concoction betrayed her as she downed more drinks than she would have if she had something more bitter instead.

She looked to the side to see if Carmilla had woken up; her roommate was nowhere near in sight. That was not a surprise, as Carmilla had a reputation of sleeping around, both literally and figuratively.

She shrugged and texted Danny back.

_**Laura (1:35 p.m.):** No prob. You were probably busy with the party. Meet you for coffee at 5?_

A few minutes later, Laura received a message from Danny confirming their date--or appointment, if she had to admit it. Things were still kinda murky with Danny, and yesterday's failed night out made it clearer in a direction she did not want it to go. Although if she was being honest, she rather enjoyed the night without anyone policing how she acted, which she only realized after Laf had pointed it out. She threw her flip phone to her bed, grabbed a towel, and made her way to the bathroom, hoping that a cold shower might ease the throbbing from inside her temples.

As Laura felt the water flow down her body, her body slightly going rigid as it felt a bit too cold against her skin. She relaxed moments later and enjoyed the sensation, droplets of water splashing against her face. Laura's moment of peace was interrupted by a loud thud, presumably her roommate slamming the door as she entered the room.

Laura suddenly remembered that she failed to get a change of clothes, or rather, she decided against getting clothes as her roommate was not in the room anyway when she went to the bathroom.

She started washing her hair and her body, thinking about how her awful roommate would see her in just a towel and panicking when no solution came to her mind. She went about her bath as slowly as she could, delaying the inevitable.

Finally, she was done. She wrapped the towel around her body, her wet hair still dripping for a bit as she also forgot to bring a second towel for her hair. _Dammit, hangover Laura!_

She slowly opened the bathroom door.

To her surprise, there was no one in the room. She stopped in her tracks, wondering at where whoever it was that entered her room could have gone.

"Looking for me, cutie?"

Laura jumped in surprise, almost dropping her towel. She didn't see Carmilla crouching from behind the shelves, reaching for a can of _her_ grape soda from their mini-fridge.

She saw Carmilla open the can and take a long sip, her eyes lingering up and down her body. She had the urge to cover up, feeling too naked in front of her roommate.

"What are you looking at?"

"Not much, if you want me to be honest."

"Jerk."

Carmilla grabbed her bass from last night and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm going out. Don't go panicking while I'm not around." Before Laura could answer, Carmilla had left.

Laura quickly ran toward the door and locked it, then changed into her red button-down flannel. After putting on jeans and boots, she checked the time. She still had about three hours before she had to meet up with Danny.

She then made her way to Laf and Perry's room.

\--

"Wake up, sleepyhead!" Laura said as she pulled on Lafontaine's covers.

"Ugh, L. It's too early."

"Its 2 p.m., Susan," Perry interjected.

"Lafontaine," Laf said with a groan.

"That was a test. If you can correct me when I call you by the wrong name, you're awake enough, _Lafontaine_.

"You can be really mean, you know?"

"Yeah, Perr. That was kinda bad."

Perry looked guilty. "I, um. I'm sorry. I'm still learning how to deal with this nonbinary thing, I guess."

"Hey, it's okay. I'm happy you're trying," Laf said as they stretched. "At least, I _am_ awake." Laf smiled. "Anyway, what's up frosh?"

"Oh don't you 'what's up frosh' me. You know why I'm here."

Lafontaine sighed. "Is this about Carmilla?"

"What else could it be?" Laura huffed.

"You're wondering why we acted cosy with each other?"

Laura nodded, her arms crossed against her chest.

"We're kind of friends, I guess..?"

"WHAT!" Laura and Perry exclaimed in unison.

"Yeah, well... I kind of know her. We've had a couple of conversations here and there. And she was pretty cool about me being nonbinary."

"Then why warn me about her being a jerk?"

"Just fanning the flames, frosh. We kinda have a deal to get rumours around about her reputation."

"Have? As in present tense?"

"Yeah."

"And why would she want that?"

"She didn't like all those girls fawning over her. Something about wanting to be liked for who she is. It wasn't very effective, as you've seen how popular she still is right now. But it did make a dent."

"Oh wow, so now you're telling me she's a sap too? Give me that version of her instead of the pervert I have."

"Did anything happen between you two?" Laf made a sly expression as they elbowed Laura playfully.

"Nothing. Forget it!" Laura blurted as her face turned beet-red. "See ya later."

Laura practically ran out of the room. She slowed down once she reached the campus grounds, finding herself on the way to How You Bean. She brought out her phone to check the time. She still had a little less than two hours before she had to meet up with Danny, but didn't find it in herself to care about how early she was. She deserved some alone time, and some coffee and something greasy to go along with that.

To her surprise, there was a sort of set up at one corner of the coffee shop, as if a band was about to play. She shrugged and went to the cashier to order bacon and waffles and a warm french vanilla coffee. As she sat down at one of the couches placed with low tables, wondering who in their right mind would play in a café at 3 pm on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Laura's eyes widened when a familiar black-haired woman came into view, sipping something from an opaque cup and tuning her bass. She was talking to two other guys; she recognized one of them was Kirsch, who was sitting on a beatbox. The other guy had dark brown hair, an acoustic guitar strapped around his shoulder. He turned around to face the audience, all five of them on that afternoon, and greeted them.

"Hi, we're Lo-Fi Hip-hop Beats to Relax/Study To and we're here to make you even more sleepy on this chilly sunday afternoon. 1-2-3 c'mon."

They started playing songs that did not sound like lo-fi hip hop beats, but did sound close to lo-fi. Laura reckoned that it was probably her smartass roommate who thought up of the name after probably seeing a lot of playlists named like that. It was the one guy she didn't know who started singing, his voice a wonderful mix of soothing and raspy. She found herself bobbing her head along to the beat.

Laura's order had arrived and she engulfed the whole thing within minutes. She and her roommate had then made eye contact as Carmilla played her bass, while Laura's mouth was still full with waffles. She made a huge effort to gulp it down and pushed it down with her oversweetened coffee.

The first songs were done, and the trio made a rotation. It was Carmilla's turn to sing. Laura looked around and realized that the café was suddenly full of people. She realised that the owner probably wanted the band to play during the slow hours to lure more customers in.

"So, um. This next song is of my favorite ones by Mitski. So it kinda goes like this."

A heavy bass line played before she started singing.

  
_I don't know what to do without you_    
_I don't know where to put my hands_    
_I've been trying to lay my head down_    
_But I'm writing this at 3am_  


She had a low, sultry voice when singing, Laura observed. It calmed her, but could not help but feel a tinge of sadness emanating from the voice. Their eyes locked at that moment as Carmilla sang the chorus.

__  
_I don't need the world to see_    
_That I've been the best I can be, but_    
_I don't think I could stand to be_  
_Where you don't see me_  


Laura absorbed the lyrics the best that she could. Was Carmilla singing about her experiences? Was she just overthinking this and Carmilla just liked the song because of its wonderful bass? Laura was awfully curious, and she could not tear her eyes away from Carmilla. She's annoying and a bit of a pervert, but Laura was drawn to the melancholy behind her eyes.

__  
_On sunny days I go out walking_  
_I end up on a tree-lined street_    
_I look up at the gaps of sunlight_    
_I miss you more than anything_  


Carmilla was still looking at her as she sang. Whoever Carmilla missed, it couldn't possibly be her. They barely knew each other. Hell, Carmilla didn't even like her.

__  
_I don't need the world to see_  
_That I've been the best I can be, but_  
_I don't think I could stand to be_  
_Where you don't see me_

The raven-haired girl kept staring at her, eyes burning as if to communicate thoughts, where words are not enough. Laura could not stand the gaze and looked away.

_And autumn comes when you're not yet done_  
_With the summer passing by, but_  
_I don't think I could stand to be_  
_Where you don't see me_  


As the three-piece band played the last notes of the song, Danny came in and sat at the chair right across from Laura.

"Hi, L."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is called Francis Forever by Mitski. I just love Mitski. This fic will be full of references to her, if it isn't already.
> 
> By the way, did anybody notice that I switched things up? Laura is the one barging into Laf and Perry's room all the time in this fic. I guess it's safe to say this is an AU lol


	5. Danny is her Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura notices more and more things about Danny. Laura and Carmilla have a little rommate bonding time.

It was the night of November 1st, the second day of November just minutes away, as Laura lied on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

The talk with Danny was long. Freaktastically long. Much of it didn't make sense to Laura, but she did understand one thing after it was done:

What had just happened was not good.

"Anything happen, creampuff?" Carmilla asked out of nowhere.

"Since when did you care?"

"Since you laid there catatonic, looking like you'd bite anyone who cared to ask about what's bothering you."

"Oh, so you're into that stuff?" Laura joked half-heartedly.

"Of course I am. I told you already, I'm an undead fiend. Not that you're the type I'd go for."

Laura just laughed quietly, still not finding it in herself to really do.

Carmilla sighed. "Come on, cupcake. You look like you really want to tell someone about it, whatever it is. Stop being so sad and go back to being perky and annoying."

Laura chuckled, now more sincerely. "Just admit it, you like me. Stop being so tsundere about it."

"I'm gonna guess that's some weaboo shit right there."

The smaller girl sat up to grin at Carmilla and tapped her own nose with her index finger. The other girl just chuckled and shook her head.

"I like you better when you're nice."

"Ugh, you're giving me goosebumps, and not the good kind. Just tell me about it and let's forget this ever happened."

Laura smiled as she realised that her jerkass roommate was not as bad as she thought. "Alright. So, you saw me at the café earlier right? This is what happened."

...

_**Six hours earlier** _

 

"Sup, Dans?" Laura said, biting her tongue immediately after that futile attempt at sounding casual.

"I just wanted to apologise for last night. I didn't mean to leave you behind back there. Things just got a little crazy and I had to cover for my sisters. You know how it is."

"Yeah, it's fine. I got to drink and party with Holtzy and Merida. We're cool."

"I thought I'd told ghostbusters to watch you while I was gone. You didn't drink too much, did you?"

She did. She was still nursing a headache, and somehow felt guilty about drinking too much, until she caught herself. Why would she feel guilty? It's not like Danny was her Dad.

_Oh my god, is Danny my dad???_

She decided to test Danny.

"Yeah, I did. I still have a hangover from last night."

"You shouldn't have drank that much, Laura. Who knows what could have happened to you? There could have been some creep just watching you there, waiting for you to lower your guard."

"I was with Laf and Perr, Danny. And I'm here, aren't I? Nothing bad happened."

"Yeah, but who knows what will happen next time? Just be careful next time. I'm just... I'm sorry I wasn't there to look after you."

The thought stayed in her mind the entire night. It lingered there as Carmilla sang the last set that had her as a singer. It stayed there even while Danny was telling her how drinking too much is bad for the liver. It was there as Danny scolded her for not going home early.

It was there as Danny told her to drink more water to flush the alcohol out of her system. It was there as Danny offered to cook soup for her to help with the hangover which she still visibly had. It was there as Danny paid for both their meals. It was annoyingly and persistently still there as Danny took her home and kissed her cheek and ruffled her hair before she went off her merry way.

Danny was her dad.

...

Carmilla burst out laughing.

"You're being parented by your girlfriend!?"

"Come on, Carmilla. I'm being serious here!"

"What, no denial about being girlfriends now, eh?"

"No, we're still not together. I think. Sort of. I still don't know! And now I'm not even sure if I still like her that much!" Laura put both hands over her mouth, her eyes wide open.

Why did she say that? Sure, she did feel that way. But why tell her roommate about it? They weren't even friends.

"Oooh, I smell drama."

"Yeah, yeah, make fun of me all you want. I know I'm short, but it sucks to be treated like a kid all the time."

"I know. I just found it funny that you didn't notice it until now."

"And how would you know about it?"

"Oh, Xena and I go way back. Not that way, though, if that was what you were thinking. I don't go for people a lot taller than me. And dad types aren't really my thing."

Laura just stared at Carmilla silently, wondering what else her roommate was up to before she started her freshman year. Apparently, Carmilla and Laf were friends. Apparently, Carmilla knew Danny. And apparently, she knew how to be nice, she was just deliberately being a jerk for some reason. Laura wondered at what reason could that be.

"What's your type, then?"

"We're talking about you right now, cutie. Don't make this about me."

Laura tried to hide the disappointment she felt as she thought that she was finally about to learn more about her broody and mysterious jerkass roommate. She mustered up her courage to ask about the thing in the café.

"Why were you looking at me while you were singing?"

"Where was I singing?"

"Oh, don't you pull that with me. You know, at How You Bean?"

"Was I looking at you?"

"I'm pretty sure you were."

Carmilla sighed. "Yeah, okay. I was. And what about it?"

"Why were you?"

"You kind of remind me of someone."

"Who?"

"Someone I knew."

"And..?"

"Someone who has long died."

"Oh. I... I'm sorry."

Carmilla sighed again. "It's fine. That was a long time ago." She ran her fingers through her hair. "So, about Wonder Woman. What do you plan on doing, then?"

"I don't know. I know I still like her, but I don't want a dad. I already have one."

"So a mom, maybe?"

"Yeah, that would work. My mom died when I was still a kid so it's about time I get a new one, no?" Laura joked.

"Oh. Sorry cupcake, I didn't mean to--"

"It's fine. It was a long time ago. I don't even remember her that much anymore. I was still so young. I'm impressed you remember someone from a long time ago. I didn't have that kind of memory as a child."

Carmilla looked away and fiddled with her fingers. "Yeah, I was a gifted child."

"Ha! What ever happened to that kid?"

"She died."

"Har har. Stop it with the undead fiend jokes or I might actually believe you."

Carmilla laughed softly to herself. "So, what do you plan on doing?"

"If you really were an undead fiend?"

Carmilla rolled her eyes. "No, with Groot."

"Groot? You mean Danny?"

"Who else is that tall?"

"I don't know who else, and I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna wait it out, I guess? See if she changes?"

"What if you just told her how you felt so she actually has a chance to make an effort to change her behaviour?"

"Nah, that's too easy. I have to know how she's really like."

"If you say so."

Laura then went on to spend the entire month of November observing Danny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	6. The Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura learns more about Carmilla. Danny as well, but who cares right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: bullying, violence, slurs, Danny (jk)

Laura continued watching Danny for the entire month of November, even until days into December. She'd observe all the little things that irritated her about Danny's overprotectiveness and ranted to her roommate all about it. Said roommate listened, surprisingly, and merely kept on making comments here and there to the effect that Laura should just tell Danny about how she felt about Danny's behaviour rather than Carmilla.

The tiny girl stubbornly refused, telling Carmilla that Danny should know how she'd like to be treated, as they've known each other for about two months then. Carmilla merely shrugged, seemingly intent on not becoming involved with the drama, although a bit concerned enough to keep on listening to Laura rant. Laura secretly wondered what prompted Carmilla to act a little nicer to her, but made no move to ask the other girl.

Eventually, Laura ended up hanging out more with Carmilla in their dorm room, although they didn't talk much outside of Laura's rants. Carmilla was just quiet, but thankfully did not bring anymore girls in their room. They seemed to have an understanding that their dorm room was their safe space, and took comfort in each other's presence. Aside from infrequent fights about hygiene and chores, the two started to go along pretty well.

It was December 14th, a week after the midterms and the peak night of the Geminids, when things finally came to a head.

Laura was walking home after a long day at school, dead tired and just wanting to lay down. She saw Carmilla leaning against a tree and approached her.

"Still have classes?"

Carmilla shrugged.

"Wanna walk home together?"

The raven-haired girl did not bother to answer and simply picked up her backpack and three heavy-looking books with ease. They walked towards the dormitories silently, Laura curious about how Carmilla was becoming nicer and nicer to her each day. Sure, she was still sarcastic and insufferable, but _nicer_.

The two found Lafontaine near the Lustig building surrounded by men. Laura immediately ran towards them, Carmilla walking a bit quickly behind her.

"Hey! Do we have a problem here?" Laura asked the men upon seeing Lafontaine on the ground with a bruised cheek and a black eye.

"What?" said one of them, a tall lanky guy with a baseball hat on backwards.

"Can you believe this tiny girl?" Another one of them laughed. "She's like a chihuahua, look at her all angry and adorable."

"You'll see how adorable I can be once I kick your butt."

"Aww she said butt." Yet another one of them said. "How cute."

"Frosh, just run. I can handle this." Laf said, grunting from pain and cradling their face.

"Listen to her, cutie." The lanky one said again. "I don't wanna hurt a cute widdle girl like you."

"It's _them_ , you punk. And no one calls this one cutie but _me_." Carmilla interrupted, holding Laura firmly by the shoulder. Laura looked over to her with furrowed eyebrows, as she was ready to suckerpunch the asshole to the ground. She was surprised at Carmilla's strength, and was calmed down by it.

"Science doesn't care about your feelings." A hulking guy said.

"Actually, _we_ are on the side of science." Laf interrupted. The hulking guy merely glared at them.

"Ooh, lesbians!" The shortest one of them howled. "That's fucking hot, my dudes!"

"I never liked dykes." Another one said. "Taking away all the cuties like that fine piece of ass right there. Better teach that bitch a lesson like this freak," he said, pointing at Laf.

The men started surrounding Carmilla and suddenly attacked all at once.

There were eight of them.

Laura saw Carmilla dodge a punch and land a kick against one of them, who fell on the ground with a thud. He clutched his back as he seemed to have fell into a position that could only be described as _wrong_. It was a bad fall, but Laura didn't feel sorry for the guy. Two more attacked Carmilla and grabbed her by the arms, but she quickly slipped and hit both of them in the crotch with her fists. The two lay on the ground cradling their balls.

There were only five of them now.

Four quickly grabbed a limb each and the last guy, the shortest one, punched her in the face. Carmilla spit out blood and simply laughed.

Everything happened so fast, but Laura finally came unto herself and was quick to help out with her krav maga. She attacked the shortest guy and had him on the ground within seconds near where Carmilla was, as Carmilla shrugged away the four. Several punches and kicks were thrown, none of them landing on Carmilla.

In a total of three minutes, all eight of them were on the ground, not too badly injured but in no shape to retaliate right there and then. The shortest one had a bloodied nose and lay right next to Carmilla, who had one knee knelt on the ground, one hand on her face.

"Hey Carmilla, are you okay?"

Lafontaine was standing now and slowly approached them. "Oh my fucking goddess, that was fucking cool! Thank you so much you, two! Fuck that was so badass." Laf was too busy reenacting the event to notice the interaction of the two. "One second Carmilla was like pow, pow! And those assholes were like, nuh uh. But then frosh was like, ka-blam! And just like that, these guys are on the ground. Damn, that was so fucking cool. Not as cool as science, but still pretty cool."

Laura put one hand on Carmilla's shoulder. Carmilla was breathing heavily and shaking, one hand covering her face, the other steadying herself on the ground. She seemed to have been staring hard at the short guy with the bleeding nose.

Carmilla's lips were slightly apart, and from what Laura could see, something white was peaking out from behind them. Carmilla looked at Laura in alarm, the hand covering her face slowly falling to her lap.

Carmilla's pupils were dilated.

Perhaps more importantly, she had fangs.

Laura could only make one conclusion, however unbelievable it might be.

Carmilla was a vampire.

...

The three of them walked towards the dormitories. Laf was still on the high of seeing their two friends come to their rescue. The two, however, were sneaking glances to each other. Carmilla rubbed her neck and Laura ran her fingers through her hair.

They didn't know what to say each other.

They all arrive at Laf and Perry's room. Perry was thankfully there, and immediately went to Laf to dress their wounds. She offered to look at Laura and Carmilla as well, but the two refused, saying that all they needed was a rest. They both seemed to have an unspoken understanding to have a discussion as they reach the privacy of their room.

Laf thanked them again before the two left. Laura hugged Laf, while Carmilla gave them a two-finger salute.

The two walked quietly, neither of them saying a word. They entered the room, both silently plopping down to her own bed. It was Carmilla who interrupted the silence.

"I already told you, didn't I? I'm an undead fiend."

"I thought that was a joke."

"Yeah, it was. I thought I was being ironic."

"You're not gonna eat me, are you?" Laura asked jokingly.

"Not in a way you wouldn't like, cutie." Carmilla quipped.

"Ew! You're disgusting, you know that?"

Carmilla laughed. "See? It's still me. Only now you know who I am. Or what I am."

"Yeah, well. While you're pretty sure that's what you are, I'm not sure that's who you are."

Carmilla merely gazed at Laura, finding no words that would be able to express how she felt about hearing those particular words from Laura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, shit will finally hit the fan once Danny learns about this little detour at the Lustig.


	7. Her Vampire Roommate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla talk about the past. Danny barges in. Laura and Carmilla stargaze and comfort each other underneath the Geminids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a pre-written chapter, one of the first ones that I actually wrote for this fic that I just couldn't wait to post. This is a little longer than what I usually write, but i know it's still shorter by other writer's standards. I know where I'm taking this, and I hope you start to, too.
> 
> We get slight POV changes and we see what carmilla is thinking. Just slightly.

"What happened to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"How did you become a vampire? I mean, if it's okay to ask. I just... I don't know. I'm curious, I guess? But maybe that's one of the things people shouldn't ask, like asking inmates what they're in prison for or something. I'm sorry I even asked, you don't need to ans--"

Laura was interrupted from her incessant mumbling by Carmilla exhaling audibly, who did not need to breathe but did so out of habit.

"Well, I was kind of murdered by my betrothed."

"What?"

"On our wedding night, he tried to, um, consummate our marriage. And as you may have noticed, I am not exactly into men."

"So what did you do?"

"I punched him in the dick."

Laura laughed, but immediately stopped when she realised what would happen. Carmilla continued.

"He had me thrown into his dungeon to rot. He couldn't stand anybody resisting his advances, so he was extremely angered and shamed. I starved there for weeks."

The younger girl stared intently at Carmilla, wanting to sit beside her to hold her hand. She didn't.

Carmilla, not noticing the inner conflict the other girl had, went on with her story.

"I thought I would meet my end in that dungeon, until Mother rescued me."

"Your mother?"

"My other mother. As I was breathing my final breaths, all withered and unmoving, she turned me. She taught me how to hunt, taught me how to control the urges to feed; she taught me everything I had to know. And here I am now. You kind of know her already."

"Huh? Who's your mum?"

"The Dean."

"Oh my gosh, I've been living with the Dean's daughter!?"

Carmilla chuckled. "Yeah, well. She was the one who sent me here. She must have had a reason to make me live with you, and I've been wondering about that lately.

"Is that why you're nicer to me?"

"I guess you could say that."

Laura, while curious about that comment from Carmilla, was more curious about some other thing. She then decided to ask about it. "What happened to your husband?"

"I ate him, obviously."

"Fair."

Carmilla laughed a hearty laugh, one she hadn't had in a long time. A very long time.

"Did you ever, um, explore your liking for girls?"

"Yeah, I guess. I've had human companions."

"Oh yeah, you bring girls here. I almost forgot."

Carmilla grew silent. She did not want to talk about the other girls; those girls meant nothing to her, just as much as she did not mean a thing to them.

Laura looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry, Carm."

"Carm, huh?" Carmilla gave her a teasing look, deciding to change the subject. "How about you? What's your story?"

"Well, you know. Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world." Carmilla smiled at the reference as Laura continued. "All my life, my dad's been trying to protect me. Now I'm in college, and it's my first time to really go out on my own."

"Loving parent weighing you down?" Carmilla joked.

"No, it's not that. I'm super thankful for him. It's just that... Sometimes I wish he'd let me be my own person, you know? I guess I kinda went to college all the way here to see the world, to see who I am."

"So that's why Xena has been getting in your nerves lately. The dad thing is actually really a dad thing. But yeah, I get what you mean." Carmilla chuckled darkly. "Being a part of a vampire coven doesn't really give you much of a choice for career paths and whatnot."

"Vampires are not very relatable, Carm." Carmilla could not help but laugh at the remark.

The two stared at each other for what seemed to be a long moment, each one sitting on her own bed.

Suddenly, the door opened, interrupting their moment, and in came Perry.

"Laura, Carmilla, I made chocolate chip cookies. Lafontaine sent me to give you some as thanks for all your help earlier today."

"Wow, thanks Perr! I freaking love your cookies," Laura said. Carmilla simply offered a small smile and a nod as thanks, which Perry gladly took. Laura then added, "It was really no big deal though, we'll always stand up for our friends. Right, Carm?"

Carmilla merely shrugged.

"I'll leave them here by your fridge. Eat them while they're still warm."

"Leaving already, Mrs. Potts?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to bring them here. I don't want to leave Laf for long." Perry gave the two of them a warm smile. "They look unbothered, but I know they're more scared and sad about the whole thing inside. Besides, Danny's on her way here. Better give her and Laura some privacy. Wanna come with me, Carmilla?"

"Nah, better catch up on some juicy lesbian drama." Carmilla wiggled her eyebrows at Perry, who simply giggled at her antics.

As if on cue, Danny came into the room. Perry nodded at her and took the opportunity to leave.

"Hi, L. Can we talk?" Danny said, throwing a wuick annoyed glance at Carmilla, who merely ignored the silent request for her to leave them alone.

"Sure, what's up?"

Danny approached Laura's bed and took a seat. "So, um, I heard from Laf and Perry. The stuff about earlier today, I mean."

"Yeah, Carmilla and I helped them out. What about it?"

"Well, um... if you could just be careful next time. Who knows what could have happened to you? Can you just give me a heads up before you do stuff like that?"

Danny's words struck a nerve; it was just minutes earlier that Laura was telling Carmilla about her feelings about being controlled. "Why?" Laura asked, her voice on edge.

"I just want to know what you're up to. Maybe help out too? I just want to make sure you're safe."

That did not sit well with Laura at all; she could not hold back the sarcasm in her retort. "I'm sorry if I'm too much of a wild child for you to parent me."

"I'm not trying to parent you, L. I just-"

"You just what? Want to know where I am all the time? Always know who I'm hanging out with? Can't leave me unsupervised without an adult?"

"I just care about you, Laura! I need to protect you."

"And there it is."

"Why? What's wrong with wanting to protect you?"

"You've never seen me as an equal. I've always been just some random girl who needed to be protected from the world and be fashioned into your perfect little girlfriend, which, by the way, you've never even called me."

"That's not true! We're eq-"

"You sure don't act like it."

Danny quickly went from apologetic to hurt; she stood up and snapped at Laura.

"Oh yeah? And what about you, Laura? Huh? What about you? You're just a tease! You never wanted to be in a relationship with me," she paused to scoff, "You're always off too busy with god knows what." Danny shot a dirty look at Carmilla. "Or who."

"They're called hobbies, Danny! I can't believe you. And are you even trying to imply that I've been seeing other people behind your back? That's rich. You weren't even trying to define our relationship! And in case it wasn't clear enough for you, I wanted to be your girlfriend. Haven't you been listening to a word I just said?" Laura said, exasperated.

"You really do?"

"Not anymore, I don't." Laura snapped.

Danny's mouth hung agape, unsure of what to say. She awkwardly stood by Laura's bed, looking down on the other girl who was red-faced and teary-eyed. She felt defeated; she simply opted to whisper a small "alright" and turned to leave, but stopped just short of the door.

"Do you like her now more than you like me?"

"Don't drag my roommate into this." Laura stared at Danny, unflinching. "And she has a name."

Danny squeezed her eyes shut, unable to believe what was happening. It was all too fast. She was there to talk some sense into Laura, then maybe ask her out to dinner. She didn't expect to be dumped. She muttered under her breath as she turned away. "Have fun being a part of that girl's harem." With that, she slammed the door behind her.

Laura plopped onto her bed and quietly sobbed, trying to keep her roommate from hearing. She was extremely hurt by Danny's words; and on top of that, she was embarassed, knowing that Carmilla had heard everything. Laura was unlucky enough to be one of those girls who'd make a scene in front of her roommate. Her efforts to stifle her sobs was in vain though, as the other girl had heightened senses and could probably hear her sniffling even from meters away. Carmilla had the decency to make herself sound busy in their mini kitchen, stirring stuff and pouring warm cocoa into a thermal jug.

"Hey."

"Hey," Laura tried to answer sounding as normal as possible.

"Um, I was going to go watch the Geminids and star-gaze a bit. It might be a bit boring to go alone without anyone to annoy. You want to come?"

A few minutes of silence passed between them, Carmilla not making a move to leave, and Laura still curled up in her bed, facing the wall. Laura eventually sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes and simply nodded, deciding that she wanted to be distracted.

The two silently went to the rooftop of the building, bringing along hot chocolate, the warm cookies from Perry, and several cosy blankets. They laid the spread on one blanket and Laura wrapped herself and Carmilla with the other. Carmilla was painfully aware that their shoulders and knees were slightly touching, the contact simultaneously too much and not at all enough.

Laura, oblivious to other girl's ruminations, decided to break the silence.

"So now that we're in part two of roomie bonding time, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Why Philosophy, Carm?"

Carmilla cracked a small smile at the nickname she was slowly getting used to. "I actually wanted to study astronomy. The stars have always fascinated me. It gives me a sort of peaceful melancholy, the fact that most of them have long died before their light has reached us."

_Huh. Doesn't sound like someone who'd get bored of the stars._

"Woah, wait, that was depressing. Didn't answer my question though."

"Do you know the amount of math you need to do to study the stars? A fucking lot, that's how much. I went for philosophy so I can ponder on shit without the math."

Laura giggled. "Aw man why'd you have to ruin it? You were sounding so profound and stuff. I was just starting to get a better opinion of you too." Laura lied. She'd gotten a better opinion of the other girl way before tonight.

"I apologize for not being as sophisticated as you thought, milady." Carmilla chuckled and shared a warm look with Laura, her hand inching closer to the blonde girl's beneath the blanket. She hesitated and retracted it immediately. Laura was in a stressful situation just moments ago, and Carmilla had no plans to add to that. Laura did not need to feel any sort of pressure right now, so Carmilla decided to rub her palms together instead. It was a lame excuse, as she did not feel the cold. What was surprising, though, was that she felt oddly warm, and it was in no way because of the blanket.

Carmilla broke off their eye contact to look at the stars, absolutely taken by their beauty. More than three hundred years of existence had not dulled her amazement at them.

Laura stared at Carmilla as the pale girl, in turn, stared at the starry sky. She was suddenly reminded of poetry she'd heard or read somewhere.

"Star-gazing Aster, would I were the skies,  
to gaze upon thee with a thousand eyes."

Carmilla's head snapped at her, eyes wide, filled with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"How do you know that?"

"What?"

"That epigram, how do you know about it?"

"I don't remember. Someone might have read it to me before? I'm not really sure. I just felt that it kinda fit the mood ya know, with the star-gazing and all."

Carmilla shook her head as if to throw unwanted thoughts off. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose; she seemed to be deep in contemplation, lines appearing at either side of her lips. Laura panicked.

"Is there something wrong? Was that some obscure poetry only cool kids could know about? Oh god did I make it lame? I'm s-"

"No, it's nothing like that." Carmilla offered her a small smile. "It just... reminded me of something."

"Oh... Okay," Laura finally said, not wanting to risk making the other girl upset by asking any further about what exactly it was that her vampire roommate was reminded of.

"You shone among the living, morning star.  
In death you shine now, like the evening star."

"What?"

"That was the next epigram. The one you recited was a love epigram; the one I did was a funeral epigram. Plato wrote them both about Aster, one of the, um, objects of his affection."

"One of his lovers? So he had a lot? Plato sounds like a real Carmilla, huh?" Laura joked.

Carmilla rolled her eyes at Laura, masking the real offense she felt with pretension. "Sure, but it's not like I write poetry for just about anyone I'm sleeping with."

"Was Plato like that?"

"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure." Carmilla chuckled. "What I'm sure of was that he was kind of a pederast."

"What's a pederast?"

"Just google it, cupcake."

Laura huffed, frustrated that she didn't know what the word meant. She usually had the best vocabulary among her group of friends, but with Carmilla, she figured that she had much more to learn. "Anyway, I didn't know Plato wrote poetry."

"He sort of did, but he hated the arts."

"Why?"

"He called them imitations of an imitation. He had this theory that our world, as we see it, is merely a shadow of the world of forms, which was the 'real' world that is entirely perfect. Art, then, as something that represented mere shadows, could never represent reality. He viewed them as distractions from us ever achieving the ideal forms. He still wrote rather beautiful poetry though," Carmilla said, looking back up to the sky.

Laura paused, surprised at Carmilla's lack of reticence. "You really are a philosophy major."

Carmilla glanced at Laura, grinning. "Don't be too impressed. Those are just entry-level stuff, cutie."

"Maybe you can teach me more Philosophy sometime." Laura smiled warmly at Carmilla. "I want to sound deep, and y'know, maybe get the girl like you do," Laura joked.

"I don't."

"Hm?"

"Get the girl."

They sat in silence, Laura unable to find the right words to say in response. She meant to say those words in a tongue-in-cheek, self-deprecating kind of way, as she'd just broken things off with Danny before they even officially started dating, just about an hour ago. Somehow, she might have managed to step on a sensitive subject for Carmilla instead. She didn't really know what the other girl was thinking; to say that Carmilla was an enigma is an understatement. Laura opted to stay quiet and looked back up at the stars instead.

A few moments later, Carmilla spoke up.

"How about you? Why journalism?"

"Oh, you know. Pursuit of the singular truth and stuff like that."

"Such a positivist."

Laura rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, I want something solid to stand on. I don't really like abstractions." After a beat, she added. "Danny was a big one."

"Literally and figuratively."

Laura laughed at the remark and leaned her head against Carmilla's shoulder, seeking solace. Carmilla stiffened at the action, but relaxed eventually and said, "It's the Geminids. Look up and make a wish, cupcake."

Laura did look up, and watched with wonder at the meteor shower, her eyes trying to follow every single one. She was thankful for the clear sky and made a wish, unaware of the eyes trained at her.

"Sweet mother, I cannot weave--slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl."

"Is that your old people way of saying you're too gay to function, grandma?"

"It's actually a poem by Sappho, but that works, too," Carmilla chuckled. "I read that one to the first and only girl I ever loved."

Mustering up her courage, Laura decided to ask. "Can you tell me about her?"

Carmilla sighed, thinking it over. After a minute, she decided to give in to the request, feeling that there was nothing to lose.

"I met her in a ball thrown for my name day. She was the daughter of another Count. We danced that night, in 1698. We'd taken a liking to each other, and kept a correspondence until we were both married off when we turned eighteen."

"That's it?"

"Yeah," Carmilla averted her gaze. "That was it."

"What was her name?"

Carmilla closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose, her eyebrows furrowing. "Same as yours, cupcake."

"Oh." Laura thought it over. "Is that why you refuse to call me by my name?"

"I guess you could say that. Love's not all shits and giggles."

"Did you try to find her? After you were turned?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"I took her with me. It was good for a while, until she started growing old. It became apparent how we were going to end. She was fine with me being a vampire, but did not want to become one herself."

"So what happened?"

"We promised to be together until the end. She died of old age. I buried her myself."

"Oh."

"Not a fun story, no?"

"I'm very sorry for that, Carmilla."

"Nah, it's okay. It's just really shitty, finding the one and outliving her. Why let me taste love just to take it away? That made me swear off renting shit for eternity."

Silence befell the two, Laura absorbing Carmilla's words. Everything finally clicked: why the other girl had always seemed so blasé about everything. Why she did not have a steady girlfriend. Why she did not have a constant group of friends, although she was a popular girl. Why she'd kept distance.

"Centuries can really grind a girl down, huh?"

"Yeah. The lifespan's a plus, but it's also what makes me hate it so much. Watching the people you love die is not a very fun experience." After a beat, Carmilla added. "I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her."

"She did get to spend the rest of hers with you."

"That's exactly what she said before she died."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading. Comments are always welcome. I love this fandom and I love all of y'all who take your time to support us aspiring writers. I'd also love to thank Silas Library Club and karnsniehaus (go check out her fic, Letters to Laura ) for inspiring me to write more.
> 
> Again, thank you!
> 
> Edit: By request, here are some definitions for some of the words used in this chapter.
> 
> 1\. Pederast: One who engages in pederasty, i.e., love between younger men and older men.  
> 2\. Positivist: A school of thought relying on sensory experience and logic in arriving at a conclusion.  
> 3\. Epigram: A type of short poem involving wit  
> 4\. Reticence: distance, introversion, unwillingness to speak  
> 5\. The Geminids: A major meteor shower peaking on December 13th or 14th
> 
> Please tell me if I use more unusual words. I'm not really sure if the words are unusual because English is my second language, and I learned mostly from reading. Thank you!


	8. Platonic Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more mysteries unfold. We see them *gasp* text each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a depressed piece of shit. I'm sorry for this shitty update.

Laura had a surprisingly easy time adjusting to the knowledge that her roommate was not quite human. It was not a total surprise though, as the Christmas break was within three days from the discovery.

So for the next three days, she'd left the milk container alone. She'd ask Carmilla to lift stuff for her while cleaning, and boy was her roommate strong. She'd even met the panther alter ego of the other girl when they were walking in the early hours of the morning for a cookie run to the convenience store. Carmilla had insisted that she'd go get the cookies herself as she can puff herself into any place in an instant, but the tiny girl stubbornly refused to let Carmilla do it. Reluctantly, Laura walked to the convenience store with a panther guard as a compromise.

Still, she can't help but think that she was missing something. She had no other choice but to bury the thought, as she had to go home to her Dad for the holidays.

Somehow, the two kept texting over the break as Carmilla remembered that Laura actually gave her her number the first time they actually met. Carmilla decided to shoot her a text.

_**Carm (10:24):** Whatcha up to creampuff?_

_**Laura (10:30):** Idk, just helping my dad out with some holidays stuff. You?_

_**Carm (10:31):** Nothing, just catching up on my epistemology reading. It's boring when there's no one getting worked up with anything I say. I'm still in the dorms :(_

_**Laura (10:40):** You didn't go home to your mum?_

_**Carm (10:41):** Nowhere to go home to, cutie. She's busy anyway. About to meet up with my brother later, though._

_**Laura (11:12):** You have a brother!?_

_**Carm (11:13):** What can I say, I'm full of mysteries. Like a rosary._

_**Laura (11:22):** A rosary is the last thing I'd probably compare myself to if I were you. Have I met him?_

_**Carm (11:23):** Not formally, as far as I know. Remember the guy who sang at How You Bean last time? The one with the acoustic guitar?_

_**Laura (12:33):** That was your brother!?_

_**Carm (12:34):** Yep, the one and only. We're not actually blood-related, though._

_**Laura (12:35):** What do you mean? Is he like, part of the vampire cabal or something?_

_**Carm (12:36):** Yep. Seems like I just outed him to you. Whoops. Just don't tell anyone, cutie._

_**Laura (12:37):** As if anyone would believe me if I told them. Laf would probably do, though. But yeah, I won't. I promise._

"Laura Eileen Hollis, stop texting and help me get ready for our trip to your grandma's!" Sherman Hollis shouted from the upstairs bedroom.

_**Carm (12:38):** Thanks, cutie. Go and help your dad. I'll have to take a bath this early in the morning to meet up with my stupid brother._

_**Laura (12:39):** It's past lunch time, Carm. How did you know he'd been calling me to help him?_

_**Carm (12:40):** Vampire hearing._

_**Laura (12:51):** You can hear me from Styria!?_

_**Carm (12:52):** Jk, cupcake. It was just a hunch. Go and help your dad before he takes your phone. I'll text you later ;)_

"A wink emoji. The hell does that mean?"

Laura decided to shoot Lafontaine a text after helping her dad pack.

_**Laura (13:32):** Laf, what does it mean when someone sends you a wink emoji?_

_**Laf (13:38):** Whatcha up to, frosh? First time using smart phones?_

_**Laura (13:40):** Yeah, my dad got it for me for Christmas as an early gift. We're actually on our way to mawmaw's. I had to complain to him about internet access and convinced him that I needed it for school._

_**Laf (13:52):** Ooh. Little Laura, lying? What happened to my sweet, sweet, frosh?_

_**Laura (14:01):** Hey, it wasn't a lie! All my classmates can google stuff without laptops and I can't. It's very convenient._

_**Laf (14:05):** Just because it's convenient, doesn't mean you really need it._

_**Laura (14:06):** Harhar, I don't wanna hear that from someone who relies on their smart phone all the time. Just answer my question, Laf._

_**Laf (14:08):** Touché. They're probably flirting with you_.

_**Laura (14:10):** Carmilla can't be flirting with me!_

_**Laf (14:15):** Oh, so it was Carmilla? She's definitely flirting with you._

_**Laura (14:18):** Shut your mouth, La_f.

_**Laf (14:25):** You do realize that we're not actually talking, we're texting._

_**Laura (14:35):** Shut your hand, then._

_**Laf (14:36):** I can smell the Little Trees from here._

_**Laura (14:37):** What do you mean Little Trees?_

_**Laf (14:38):** You know, those air freshners for your car?_

_**Laura (14:39):** Yeah, and?_

_**Laf (14:40):** Your dad's car is probably full of Little Trees because of all that pining._

_**Laura (14:40):** I am NOT pining._

The holidays passed with Laura mostly texting Carmilla, and she can't help but wonder whether Carmilla really was flirting with her. Christmas went on in just the usual manner her family spent it; with warm hot cocoa by the fireplace and her reading stpries to her little cousins who'd gone to their grandma's for the holidays as well. She'd greeted Carmilla a Merry Christmas, although she wasn't sure if Carmilla believed in the holiday, being undead and all.

The father and daughter duo went back home to celebrate New Year's by themselves, playing scrabble while the local TV news played in the background.

On January 1st, as the clock had struck midnight, she greeted her father a happy new year, and she texted Carmilla to greet her as well.

 _ **Laura (00:02):** Happy New year, Carm_.

"Who's the lucky girl you kept on texting all day the past two weeks? It's not some stranger form the internet, is it?" Sherman asked her daughter teasingly, albeit a bit worriedly.

"Ew, dad no. It's just my roommate."

"Not a roommate you're dating?"

"No, dad, just my very platonic roommate. She's alone all Christmas and even tonight for New Year's. On second thought, she's probably playing tonsil hockey with some girl she met in a bar right now. I doubt she's gonna let let the New Year's pass without someone to kiss at midnight."

"Language, honey."

Laura giggled, embarassed. At that moment, Carmilla texted back.

_**Carm (00:08):** Happy new year to you too, cutie. It's very dull here without you._

Laura involuntarily smiled and shot back a text to Carmilla.

_**Laura (00:09):** I miss you too, Carm. _

_**Carm (00:10):** Huh? No one said anything about missing anyone. _

"Jerk." Laura muttered under her breath with a smile.

"Some platonic roommate." Sherman commented as he started cleaning up the living room.

Laura slept the first night of the year with a smile on her face.

It was in the early hours of the 1st of January when Sherman drove Laura back to Styria. The classes were to resume the next day, and she was still in a food coma from all the holiday treats she had.

"Take care of yourself there, kiddo." Sherman said with a kiss on the cheek. "Remember what I said about strangers on the internet. And that 'platonic' roommate."

"Dad, we're really just friends!"

Sherman ignored the reply, instead saying "Bye, love you!" as he drove away.

Laura shook her head and laughed. She then walked towards the dormitories, and within a few minutes, she was in front of Room 307. She was excited to see Carmilla again after the two-week break, and couldn't help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside at the thought that they were about to see each other again.

She was about to open the door into the dorm room when she heard Carmilla talking to another woman.

"It's her," Carmilla said. Laura couldn't hear the rest of what Carmilla said as the voices were muffled by the thick door.

"How do you know?" The unfamiliar voice was muffled. Laura only managed to hear "..coincidence."

"It's not! I know it." Carmilla snapped.

"Shush, Mircalla. Someone else is in here."

_Oh, crap._

Laura mustered her courage and decided to knock on the door and opened it.

"I'm home!" She didn't know why she said home, and decided to amend her words. "I mean, I'm back!"

"Hi cutie."

Laura saw Carmilla sprawled on _her_ bed, hugging _her_ yellow pillow, and drinking from a sippy cup, eating _her_ chocolate.

"What's that in your cup?"

"Take a guess."

"Alright. But I know you eat chocolate. You eat my chocolate and my cookies."

"Yeah, so?"

"What do you mean 'so'? Don't you have any dietary restrictions or something?"

"Like what?"

"Oh I don't know. Maybe you couldn't eat anything but blood or something? Like in the movies?"

"Movies are not a very good reference, cupcake."

"Wait a minute..."

"What?"

"On that day at the cafeteria. You were trying to line up for the vegetarian food."

"When was that?"

They stopped when the third person in the room cleared her throat very audibly, and Laura's instinct was to turn her attention to her, and saw the other woman staring at her with what looked like fascination and familiarity. The woman was sitting on Carmilla's bed when she slowly stood up to approach Laura.

She was a tall woman; graceful, elegant, and totally out of place in their tacky dorm room.

"I believe we have yet to meet," the woman said with a sultry voice. It was very close to how Carmilla spoke, the contralto a dead-ringer for Carmilla's own.

"I, um.. Hi. I'm Laura, Carmilla's roommate. And who might you be?"

"I'm Matska Belmonde. But you can call me Mattie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	9. Geyser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mattie, some good news about the Utena paper, and Laura being uncool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is from the song Geyser by Mitski, which is also the song played in this chapter. I hope you give a listen to it to get a feel of the chapter.

"Um, hello... Mattie..?" Laura said, unsure.

"No need to be so shy, little girl. Mircalla has been gushing about you."

"There has been no such thing or anything of that nature, whatsoever." Carmilla deadpanned.

"Ha, like you're capable of feelings." Laura quipped.

"Oh you little moppet. Don't you know this baby sister of mine is the most hopeless romantic there is? Oh, if only you'd seen her cry for years over this girl in the 1700s, you would have--"

"Ehem." Carmilla interrupted. "I kinda have a reputation to keep here, Mattie," she muttered, her tone clearly annoyed.

"Wait, you two are sisters!? Like, vampire sorority sisters?"

Carmilla nodded.

"Oh, wow... I didn't realize just how much of, um, people like you are there in the world."

"Darling, you'd faint if you knew," Mattie snickered.

"I, um, Mattie, don't you have that thing with mother?" Carmilla stood up from Laura's bed and slowly started pushing Mattie towards the door.

"I'm not done speaking with this roommate of yours," Mattie answered in a teasing tone.

"Aren't you busy? I know you have lots of things to do. See you later, bye!" Carmilla said as she locked the door after successfully pushing Mattie out, who merely laughed at her antics.

"You do realize I can just break this door open right?" Mattie said from outside the room.

"I know you're too civilized to do that." Carmilla shouted back.

"We're not finished talking--"

"I said goodbye!"

Mattie laughed and seemed to have decided to just leave. Whatever she wanted to say to Laura was left unspoken and shelved for a later time.

"What was that all about? Why does she keep on calling you Mircalla?" Laura asked, confused.

"Nothing. That's just how Mattie is. And, well... It's been a long time since I've actually had anything close to a friend."

"How about those girls you take to our room?"

"Them?" Carmilla huffed. "They're nothing. Just as I'm nothing to them."

"That's kind of a bleak way to treat your lady friends."

"They're not my friends." After a beat, Carmilla added. "You are, though."

"Oh, such a sap." Laure teased, albeit with a tinge of sadness in her chest that confused her. "How about Laf and Perry?"

"Holtzmann's cool. Betty Crocker, on the other hand... We kind of have a bad history. But we're pretty chill now."

"What do you mean?"

"It's a story for a later time."

"Hmm. If you say so."

With that, Laura started unpacking and arranging her things. It was a good thirty minutes before either of them spoke up again.

"Hey, by the way. I almost forgot. You got a letter from the university about some feminist fiction conference."

"Oh my gosh! What did it say?"

"I didn't open it." Carmilla brought the letter out of her sling bag. "Here, read it."

Laura nervously took the letter and her hand and ripped off one side of the envelope. Her eyes scanned the paper, her face unfathomable.

"So, what did it say?"

Laura looked at her, eyes filled with joy.

"I got in!"

"That's awesome, creampuff."

"Motherf--ather! The presentation is three weeks from now. Oh my gosh, I have to prepare for everything. What do I do? That's not enough time! We still have finals during that week!"

"Cupcake, calm down. Take time to celebrate that win."

Laura skittered around the room, unsure of what to do. Carmilla stood up and held her by the shoulders.

"Shh. Shh. It's okay. You have time." Laura gradually relaxed into her touch. "Come with me, I'm gonna take you somewhere to calm you down. Think of it as a late Christmas gift."

"That's not like some make out spot is it?"

"What do you think of me?" Carmilla asked, offended. "I'm a gentlewoman, cutie."

Laura merely laughed, confused at the slight disappointment she felt. "Alright, alright. Can we stop over Laf and Perry's room first, though? I kind of wanna check up on them. I feel kinda bad, we didn't really ask whats up since the incident."

Carmilla simply nodded, following Laura as the smaller girl immediately went out of their room.

Without knocking, she opened the room into Laf and Perry's room.

"HEYO FRIENDO!" Laura shouted. She saw Perry's hand over Laf's, the two of them sitting on Laf's bed. Upon seeing Laura and Carmilla, the two immediately retracted their hands and looked away from each other.

"Knocking, frosh. Have you heard of it?"

"I didn't see anything!" Laura lied as Carmilla chuckled behind her.

Laf rolled their eyes while Perry went back to her bed, turning away from all of them. Laura could see, however, that her ears were almost as bright as her hair.

"Whatever. What's up?"

"Nothing, we just wanted to check on you. Right, Carm?"

"Cupcake here was worried about you after that whole... batshit dudes thing."

"Thanks, but I'm fine, I promise. I was a little shaken up, to be honest, but Perr here has been nothing but supportive of me throughout the whole break." Perry turned towards Lafontaine and the two shared a look. The two outsiders felt uncomfortable, feeling as if they were interrupting an important moment for the two.

"So, um. That's all. Bye!" Laura said as she hurriedly escaped the room, pulling Carmilla with her by the hand. Carmilla stared at their linked hands as Laura paced towards the stairwell, down to the facade of the dormitories.

They were already near the chapel when Laura noticed that she was still holding Carmilla's hand, and immediately let go.

"So, Laf and Perr, huh."

"Mmhm."

"Isn't it weird though? Since they're roommates?"

"So weird."

"Yeah, so weird." Laura chuckled nervously. "Where are you taking me, by the way?"

"It's a surprise."

Carmilla walked in front of Laura and led her to the way of a small, abandoned building, one of the oldest buildings in the campus. Laura looked around in awe at the intricate carvings on the architecture, and wondered at why this particular building was left unused. It seemed to be a historical place from the way it looked, and Laura marveled at the sight as they made their way deeper into the building.

There were stained glass on the wall as windows, as in a church. Laura could not help but think how beautiful Carmilla looked beneath the filtered light.

"This used to be the music building. They held small concerts here, when good music was still a thing."

"Hipster." Laura teased.

"I'm obviously kidding, cupcake."

The two entered the old, unused music hall and found a piano right in the middle of the room.

"Can you play?" Laura asked, pointing to the piano.

"Duh. I've been alive for three centuries, cupcake. You don't think I wouldn't learn to play an instrument or two. Or five."

"Wow, queen of humble brag."

"Technically, I'm a Countess. Do you want me to play or not?"

"Go ahead, Beethoven."

At the mention of Beethoven, Carmilla sat by the piano and blew away the dust settling on top of the keys. Laura sneezed, as she sat down beside Carmilla who went to test whether the piano was still in tune. After checking, she then went to play one of his most famous works, Für Elise.

The melody rang throughout the hall. Camilla played the song perfectly, yet Laura felt a deep melancholy well up inside her. She decided to interrupt after the key change.

"Hey, how about something with lyrics?"

"Is Mitski okay?"

"Sure. Hey, if you don't mind me asking un.. How come you love her so much?"

Carmilla chuckled. "I think we're past the point of asking if it's okay to ask things." She traced the keys with her fingers. "To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. I don't know, her lyrics kind of speak to me. It helps that I love how her songs sound, too. She's just awesome, I guess."

"Oh, okay." Laura smiled and lightly touched Carmilla's hand. "Farm boy, play me some Mitski."

"As you wish."

Carmilla played the first few notes and started singing.

_You're my number one_  
_You're the one I want_  
_And you've turned down_  
_Every hand that has beckoned me to come_

Carmilla turned her eyes to Laura.

_You're my number one_  
_You're the one I want_  
_And I've turned down every hand_  
_That has beckoned me to come_

Slowly, warmth crept up Laura's cheeks and her ears. She looked up, trying to ignore the eyes trained at her. The melody was starting to pick up, and Carmilla continued to sing with her sultry contralto.

_'Cause you're the one I got_  
_You're the one I got_  
_So I'll keep turning down the hands_  
_That beckon me to come_

Laura started humming to the tune, being familiar with it enough to hum along, but not enough to know the lyrics. She heard it play through Carmilla's speakers once or twice, but didn't know how utterly in love the lyrics sounded.

_Though I'm a geyser_  
_Feel it bubbling from below_  
_Hear it call, hear it call_  
_Hear it call to me_  
_Constantly_  
_And hear the harmony_  
_Only when it's harming me_  
_It's not real, it's not real_  
_It's not real enough_

Carmilla closed her eyes but continued singing and playing. It was then that Laura decided to watch Carmilla, the raw emotion from the song evident on the dark-haired girl's face. Laura felt drawn in and did not notice herself slowly leaning in towards Carmilla.

_But I will be the one you need_  
_The way I can't be without you_  
_I will be the one you need_  
_I just can't be without you_

Carmilla opened her eyes and turned her face towards Laura. She was surprised to see that she was face to face with Laura, their noses almost touching. She felt warm breath on her face and a tingling feeling from her chest, even without her heart beating.

Laura slowly leaned in closer and closer...

Carmilla felt Laura's hand on her nose.

"Hah! Got your nose!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, as always. Comments, suggestions, critiques, rants, or whatever always spur me on.
> 
> PS anybody catch that Princess Bride reference? ;)


	10. Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla totally gets the wrong idea. So does Laura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These useless lesbians.

The two stared at each other, their faces still close. Carmilla felt Laura's hot and heavy breathing against her face and was about to make a move, when she snapped out of the moment. It took all she had to decide against kissing Laura. Instead, she said:

"What the hell, Hollis?"

"Ha, I totally got you. I got your tall and pretty nose. You didn't really think I'd kiss you or something like that, right?" Laura asked nervously.

Carmilla scoffed. "Excuse you. You obviously wanted to," she teased. "And you really think my nose is pretty?"

"Totally objectively."

"Sure."

"I said it objectively, dammit."

"Aww she likes me."

"As if I'd fall for a womanizer like you."

"Who said anything about falling for anyone?" Carmilla smirked.

"I-- well--You freaking know what I mean!"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Not into womanizing vampires."

"Pfft. Yeah. Totally not into you at all."

"Got the message loud and clear, creampuff. No need to make me feel like an unattractive lady. That's rather uncouth of you."

"I didn't mean it that way, Carm! I'm not saying you're not likeable. You totally are. I'm just saying I don't like you." Laura bit her tongue as the words slipped through her lips; that was not what she meant all. She liked Carmilla, although she still wasn't sure in what way.

"Oof. Harsh, Hollis. That's the first time I got rejected without even making a move. You're full of surprises yourself, cutie." Carmilla stood up from the piano and made her way out of the room, her face expressionless. "Come on, before mother or her little followers catch us here. This building is off-limits to students."

Carmilla and Laura walked back to the dormitories wordlessly, neither one brave enough to put a word in. Laura fidgeted, knowing that she hurt the other girl, but didn't have it in her to amend her statement. She was just now slowly thinking about what the other woman meant to her; she was still unsure and confused, yet she already screwed it up.

Upon reaching the dormitories, Carmilla silently took her sling bag and gave a salute to Laura.

"I hope you liked my gift."

For amonth, that was the last time Laura saw or heard from Carmilla.

.....

For almost the entire month of January, Laura had no roommate to rant to. She had no one to help her with her presentation. She had no roommate to congratulate her for eventually taking second place in the conference. She set aside the cash grant to buy Carmilla a late Christmas gift, as she'd just realized that she didn't give one to her. She barely passed her final exams as her mind was addled with thought of her roommate who was still missing in action.

She missed Carmilla.

She knew she missed Carmilla. She tried texting her, but got no replies. Laura was too embarassed and scared to give her a call, afraid that she would word-salad her way into deeper clusterforks than she already is.

It was January the 29th, and the semestral break was in two days. She finally have had enough, knowing that she couldn't leave things as they were before she goes home to her dad. The beginning of the summer semester is March 1st, and that would leave her for an entire two months without talking to Carmilla.

Laura went to Laf to ask them about her. Remembering last time's incident, she knocked on the door and entered, seeing two red heads and two red faces attached to them.

"Hey, Laf. Hey, Perr. Heard anything from Carmilla?

"No, not really. Why?" Laf answered.

"She hasn't been coming home for the past weeks."

"And is that supposed to be strange?"

"Well before, it wasn't. She was always off with some girl or sitting in in some post-grad lecture. But now... Yeah, it kinda is."

"Why?" Perr joined in.

"Well, um... We sorta have this roommate bonding thing going on. I thought she'd at least tell me if she had to be anywhere. I haven't heard from her since I came back from the holidays."

"Huh. What happened the last time you saw her?" Laf asked.

"I, um... I almost kissed her."

"WHAT?!" The two exclaimed in unison.

"Yeah, um. She played the piano for me and sang to me. She said it was a late Christmas gift. I.. I couldn't help it! She looked so sad and so beautiful, I just wanted to kiss her. But I stopped myself from making things awkward at the last minute." Laura chuckled. "Nailed that one." She added, her words dripping with sarcasm.

"So, um. Anything else happened?" Laf asked.

"Yeah. I totally saved myself from embarassment by telling her I didn't like her." Laura said with an ironic tone in her voice.

"And you really don't?" Laf prompted.

"I don't know yet."

"Frosh. You've really got to tell her how you really feel."

Laura looked up and stared at Lafontaine. "Laf, are you keeping something from me? Do you know something?" She eyed Laf suspiciously. "Anything?"

"Laf doesn't know anything about where Carmilla is or anything of that sort." Perry interjected.

"That's such a suspiciously specific denial." Laura remarked. "Tell me where she is."

…

Laura found Carmilla beneath a canopy of trees at a park within the campus. The sunlight was filtering through the trees, hitting Carmilla in such a way that made her skin seem to glow; she was laughing along to some silly joke Kirsch told, while another woman was there laughing with them.

Carmilla saw Laura from the distance and eyed her, as Carmilla approached the woman's ear and whispered something Laura couldn't hear. The woman laughed and touched Carmilla's thigh, her eyes lingering up and down Carmilla's body.

Laura started to feel sick. She just realized that she didn't want to see Carmilla flirt with another woman, let alone be brave enough to do it in front of her or Kirsch.

Unsure of what else to do, Laura ran away, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

As she ran away from the sight, she failed to see the woman and Kirsch share a kiss, and Carmilla watched her back as she slowly disappeared from the black-haired woman's view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	11. Get your shit together, Laura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura finally realises her mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Useless lesbians finally become useful

February 28th was the last day of the semestral break, which meant that the next day would be the first day of the summer semester. Laura felt more and more nervous as the day approached. It would mean that she would have to see Carmilla; that is, if that woman had actually been going back home to their dorm during the break.

"Not texting your totally platonic roommate this time?" Sherman asked.

"She's ignoring me. And I'm ignoring her."

"Ah, young love."

"We're not in love, dad. I'm not even sure if we're in like."

"Just talk to her, honey."

"It's not that easy, dad."

"Yeah it is. If you like her, tell her. If you don't, then you don't." Sherman sat beside Laura and put an arm around her shoulder. "Do you remember the story of how your mum and I got together?"

Laura smiled fondly at the memory of the story. "Yeah, dad."

"It was your mum who asked me out, which, at that time, was pretty rare. She gave me a mixtape and a walkman, and told me that she liked me."

"Yeah, and the first song was Queen's Somebody to Love."

"Do you know how easy it is for you kids these days? She had to wait for the song to play on the radio to record each one. Now you can just make a playlist on stopify or something. You don't have to meet up secretly, you just have to send each other texts. Your generation is pretty lucky, Laura. Maximise technology in your favor."

"It's spotify, dad." Laura giggled.

"If that's all you got from everything I'd said so far, you're really your mother's daughter." Sherman said as she ruffled Laura's hair. "Anyway, if she's really your friend, she'd talk things out with you. You can start with a text."

Despite her dad's speech that can be summed up to "Just text her already!", Laura still felt apprehension about seeing, much less talking to, Carmilla again. She kept on thinking about her weird reaction upon seeing Carmilla flirt with the woman. It wasn't supposed to be unusual that Carmilla was being her good old flirty self. It was normal, actually, for her to be that flirty all the time. What actually worried Laura was what Carmilla thought of her reaction.

"Carmilla might think I was jealous," she told Laf and Perry as she was sniffling after coming back from the park.

"Yeah, you obviously weren't." Laf deadpanned.

"I totally wasn't!" Laura protested.

"Yeah, yeah, those are tears of joy from seeing your broody roommate meet the love of her life." Laf answered.

"That girl, the love of her life? Please. Carmilla could do better."

"And are you supposed to be that 'better' you're referring to?"

"No, I wasn't talking about myself! I meant it in general." Laura wiped her nose. "Just in general," she added for emphasis.

"Not doing a very good job of convincing us, frosh."

"I don't wanna see her."

"Remember Laura, communication is the foundation of a good roommate relationship." Perry said. "Or any relationship for that matter," she added.

March the 1st, the day that Laura was dreading, finally came. She didn't see Carmilla that day, but she saw someone else.

The woman from the park.

Laura was surprised to see her walking around with Kirsch, holding hands all the while. She felt angry at the other woman who had the nerve to cheat on Carmilla, and Kirsch who was supposed to be her friend, or at least, bandmate. He could've been a more decent person to Carmilla.

The tiny girl stomped her way to Kirsch.

"What the hell, Kirsch."

"Huh?"

"Why are you with her?"

"Oh, uh. Hey, yeah, you haven't met her yet little hottie. SJ, this is Laura. Little hottie, this is Sarah Jane, my girlfriend."

"What?"

"Hi, nice to meet you, Laura. You can call me SJ," Sarah Jane said, stretching out her hand for a shake. Laura merely looked at the hand and didn't take it.

"What do you mean your girlfriend? I saw her flirting with Carmilla about a month ago."

"Oh, that?" SJ said. "That was a one time thing. She told me to laugh along with whatever she says."

"Oh, when we were hanging out at the park? Yeah, that was weird. She told me that it was to make some chick jealous, which was totally not like her."

Laura tried to absorb the words fully.

"Yeah, some chick." SJ smiled. "Come on, babe, we better leave Laura to her thoughts. I bet she's gonna be busy."

"Huh? Why?"

"Let's just leave her alone for now." SJ waved to Laura as she pulled Kirsch by the hand. "Bye Laura, it's nice to finally meet you."

Laura snapped out of her thoughts and was surprised to find herself alone. She immediately pulled out her phone and texted.

_**Laura (13:24):** You jerk._

She was surprised when she got a reply within the minute.

_**Carm (13:24):** You're the jerk._

_**Laura (13:25):** You've been avoiding me._

_**Carm (13:26):** You did tell me that you didn't like me._

_**Laura (13:27):** I didn't mean that. I'm sorry._

_**Carm (13:28):** It's fine. Let's just talk later. I'm busy with Laf._

_**Laura (13:29)** Just come home, okay? I'm giving you something._

Laura went on to panic about what she was gonna give Carmilla, having promised something without really thinking it through. She saw Kirsch and SJ a ways away and chased after them.

"Hey!" She said, panting. "What do you think I could give to someone I like?"

"Oh! Oh! A teddy bear!" Kirsch exclaimed.

"Hmm. Something that means a lot to them. What kind of person are they? What do they like? Are they into music?" SJ answered.

Laura's eyes grew wide as she finally realised what to give Carmilla.

"Can you guys help me find a music or record store? I know just the thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	12. Stargazing and Folktales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do they finally settle things?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *To Hollstein*: STOP HOLDING BACK

Laura finally got home, tired from running around with Kirsch and SJ all day. She finally got a gift for Carmilla, which she hoped the other girl would like. It was both a Christmas gift and a make up gift, so she was glad she had sort of thought it through. However, the other woman was nowhere near in sight. She was saddened by the thought that Carmilla still wouldn't go back home, but she was too tired to really think about it.

She was about to plop down on her bed when she saw a dainty white dress spread across her bed, a note right on top of it.

_Come to the rooftop at 7 pm. Wear this, and bring me coffee. -C._

Laura smiled and glanced at her phone to check the time. It was 6:52 pm. She panicked; she immediately wore the dress, grabbed a canned coffee from the fridge, and ran out. She remembered the gift and ran back in, bringing along the brown paper bag that held the late Christmas gift she had for Carmilla, running as quickly as her little legs could carry her. She rushed up several flights of stairs, stopping just by the doorframe that opened to the rooftop to catch her breath.

"You're late." Carmilla smiled.

"Yeah, for only about five minutes." Laura's head was down as she had her hands on her knees and breathed heavily, and motioned for Carmilla to wait. Carmilla chuckled and crossed her arms, shaking her head at the smaller girl. When Laura finally stood up, she was again rendered breathless by the sight before her.

Carmilla was in a simple black shirt and dark blue jeans, an oversized light-colored denim jacket sitting on her shoulders. Her dark, wavy tresses were swept carelessly to one side, making her hair look unkempt yet somehow very alluringly so. She was wearing a bit of eye make-up, at which Laura made a mental note to ask Carmilla to teach her how to do that sort of technique with her own eyes. How Carmilla could look so fetching in casual wear, she'll never know.

She slowly approached Carmilla, the other girl looking at her from head to toe, seeming to hum in approval at the way the dress adorned her body. Laura gave her the canned coffee. Carmilla gently took the coffee with one hand, and Laura's hand with the other, and led her to the small feast she prepared.

A familiar blanket was on the floor; it was one of the blankets they used when they first went star-gazing and watched the meteor shower. On top of it were a bottle of expensive-looking champagne, a board filled with creamy cheeses like camembert, plates of smoked salmon and surprisingly, chocolate chip cookies and grape soda. Laura laughed as she noticed the last two. It did not fit the ambiance of the rooftop and the spread, but it was both hilarious and endearing that Carmilla knew her well enough to put them there.

"So, star-gazing."

"Yep."

"With champagne."

"Yep."

"And cheeses."

"Yep."

"And cookies."

"I know you love your cookies."

"I have a feeling that you're using this as an excuse to ask me out on a date."

"I need no excuse, cupcake. I told you that day at How You Bean that you'd get me coffee when I deem you worthy of a date, right?" Carmilla grinned cheekily.

"Oh! So that's why you asked for a coffee."

"Yeah. So if you asked me, I think I did a pretty good job."

"You call leaving notes a good job? Please." Laura pretend-scoffed. "You're off your game, casanova."

"And how would you know _my_ game, cutie? I haven't tried a move on you."

Laura tried to stop a smile from breaking out and was somewhat successful for the most part. She felt glad that there was no awkwardness between them even after that whole misunderstanding. She miserably failed to avoid smiling when Carmilla spoke again, staring at her intently.

"And just so we're clear--I'm not pulling any moves here, cupcake. This is me being real with you. For once." 

"Oh, stop it, you," Laura tried to hide her giddiness by covering Carmilla's face with her hands to stop her from staring, but she failed yet again. "We're here to watch the stars you loved so much. Just look up at the freaking sky, woman!" Laura said as she held Carmilla's face with both hands and made her look up to the night sky.

Carmilla took her hands and put it down, not letting go. "Hey, cupcake. I'm sorry for that whole thing. Laf told me how upset you were about being ignored and chastised me, rightfully. I know I can be real immature most times, but I really thought you didn't like me, even as a friend."

"Dammit Carm, I really thought I was being weird around you. I was so nervous. But I'm sorry, too." Laura pulled out the brown paper bag and gave it to Carmilla. "Here, have this. This is my very late Christmas gift for you, since I didn't really give you one when we last saw each other."

"You didn't have to." Carmilla said, eyeing the paper bag.

"I wanted to. Come on, open it."

Carmilla opened the paper bag and found a walkman and two cassette tapes inside.

"Did you make me mixtapes? In this day and age?"

"You don't like it?" Laura fidgeted.

"I absolutely love it, cutie. What I mean was, I'm impressed you got to make these in this day and age."

"You wanna try it out?"

"Of course."

Carmilla placed 'Mixtape 1 for Carm' inside the walkman and wore the earphones. She laughed as the first song played.

"Carly Rae Jepsen?"

"Yes, otherwise known as Canada's gift to the world."

"Do you really feel this way?" Carmilla asked as the song 'I Really Like You,' played on the walkman, with one earphone in her ear and the other one out.

Laura blushed and changed the subject. "The mixtape might be full of CRJ."

"That's fine, I like her. Especially Emotion and its Side B."

"Phew, thank god." Laura answered, relieved.

Carmilla hugged Laura to thank her for the gift, but it was for a time that was too short to enjoy, as Carmilla pulled away. She put one of her own hands over her chest, as the other was outstretched to Laura, imitating the orators of old. She made a show out of clearing her throat, making Laura giggle. She closed her eyes as she quoted a poem by Nizar Qabbani.

"My lover asks me: What is the difference between me and the sky? The difference, my love, is that when you laugh, I forget the sky."

Carmilla opened one eye to peek at Laura, who remained quiet and stared back at her, expression unfathomable. Carmilla started to feel discomfited, as she'd intended the poem to be her rather nonchalant way of telling the other girl how she felt about her. She wasn't even sure if Laura fully absorbed the weight behind her words; and so, she decided to speak to interrupt the stillness.

"Um, anyway... You look absolutely resplendent tonight, cupcake."

"You picked out the dress"," Laura said, looking down at nothing in particular.

"It becomes you," Carmilla gently elbowed Laura and gave her a half-smile. They sat in silence until Carmilla decided to the pop the champagne and poured them a glass each. Laura took one of the glasses, clinked it against Carmilla's, and took a small sip, one arm supporting her weight as she leaned back.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Can you teach me some constellations?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Hmm. I know some pretty basic ones, like Orion's belt and the big dipper."

"Technically, those are not constellations, cupcake. They're asterisms."

"Such a pedant." Carmilla laughed at the comment. "What's the difference, then, star-gazing Aster?"

Carmilla smiled at the reference to Aster and answered.

"Well, they both form patterns in the sky, but constellations are usually based on Greek or Roman mythology. Mostly Greek though. We all know that the Romans admired the Greeks so much that they imitated them then made their works 'more practical.' Anyway, I digress." Laura laughed, appreciative of how Carmilla can now speak with her without a care after not talking to each other for almost two months.

Carmilla went on. "Asterisms are usually just easily identifiable shapes within constellations, like how Orion's belt is part of the constellation Orion. Some asterisms may even have stars from different constellations. Look, I'll show you." Carmilla scooted closer to Laura and pointed towards the sky.

"Can you see that? It kind of looks like a fish, with a diamond-shaped body and a triangle for a tail." After a beat, Laura nodded. Carmilla continued. "That constellation is Lyra, the lyre. Its brightest star is called Vega." Carmilla pointed a bit to the left. "See that one, the one that kinda looks like a stick figure bird? That one is Cygnus, the swan. Its brightest star is called Deneb." She then pointed a bit lower. "This one's the last. Do you see that, the one that sort of looks like an arrow? That one is Aquila, the eagle. Its brightest star is Altair." Laura was able to see them a few moments later, after much squinting and head-tilting.

"So Lyra, Cygnus, and Aquila are constellations."

"Yep."

"And what about their brightest stars?"

"Hm?" Carmilla stared blankly at Laura, eyes lingering at her exposed neck and collar bones.

"Why mention them?"

"Oh right, right. Look back up at those three. Vega, Deneb, and Altair form the summer triangle. You can see them even outside of summer, but the triangle would be in different areas in the sky of course, depending on the season. They're just easier to see during the summer as they're just overhead then."

Laura formed an 'o' shape with her mouth. "Ohh. So the summer triangle is an asterism, made up of the brightest stars from three constellations."

"Exactly."

Laura tried to burn the image of the stars in her mind. Carmilla looked fondly at the other girl as she stared at the sky in concentration. "You want to hear a folktale about the summer triangle?" Carmilla asked. Laura beamed at her words and enthusiastically nodded her head. The taller girl chuckled in response.

"The story has many variations, but this is how I remember it."

She then began telling the story.

"A long time ago, there was a cowherd, Niulang, who came across seven fairy sisters bathing in a lake. They did not see him; he took and hid their clothes as they bathed, at the goading of his ox."

"Men are trash." Carmilla laughed and nodded emphatically at Laura's remark and continued the story.

"When the sisters discovered that their clothes were nowhere to be found, they sent Zhuni, the weaver girl and youngest of them, to look for their clothes. She found them with Niulang; however, as Niulang had seen her bare body, they had to be married."

"I don't like where this is going, Carm," Laura said, uncomfortable.

"I promise it'll be good," Carmilla chortled. "Anyway, they fell in love and were a pretty good couple. They had two children."

"You tell me the gross tale of how they met but skip over how they fell in love?"

"Do you want to hear the rest or not?"

After a few seconds, Laura answered begrudgingly. "...yes."

"So they lived happily together as husband and wife. However, the goddess of heaven found out that Zhuni married a mere mortal, and furiously sent her back to heaven to resume her duties as a goddess charged with needlework."

"What did Niulang do?"

"I was getting to that." Carmilla raised an eyebrow at Laura, who smiled at her sheepishly. "He was, of course, devastated to find that his wife was missing. His ox started to talk, saying that if Niulang killed him, he could wear his hide and go to heaven to find his wife. Niulang wept, upset that he had to kill his companion. But still he did; he wore the ox skin and snuck into heaven, bringing with him their two children."

There were no interruptions from Laura this time. Carmilla glanced at her, and saw the shorter girl's face resting on her hands, eyes fixed at her in anticipation. Carmilla took this as encouragement and went on with the story.

"The goddess of heaven found Niulang and sent him back to the mortal world, extremely displeased at his trespassing. She ripped a silver river, the Milky Way, between Niulang and Zhuni, so that they may remain on the opposite ends of the sky and may never see each other again."

Laura's lips were slightly open, eyebrows raised. Carmilla continued.

"Zhuni wept bitterly at their separation. Niulang and their children wept as well, never ceasing. Zhuni was thus unable to weave, not performing her duties because of her deep melancholy. The goddess of heaven was moved, and took pity on the family. She allowed them to meet once a year, on the 7th day of the 7th moon. On that day, a flock of magpies fly to the Milky Way to form a bridge, so that the family may cross to reunite. Some say that when it rains, as it does in the summer, the magpies cannot fly, so that they must wait another year. The rains are said to be their tears, rueful of their separation and the long wait."

"That was... unexpectedly sad." Laura's hands fell back from her face to the floor, her legs stretching out.

Carmilla's hand inched closer to Laura's, their pinkies slightly touching. Laura felt the contact and entwined her pinky with Carmilla's. The dark-haired girl closed her eyes and smiled.

"It's sort of bittersweet. They were separated, yes, but at the very least, they knew they could see each other again."

"Yeah, but they have to wait _a year_ to be reunited."

"Some people have to wait longer than that." Carmilla stared off into the sky.

"Anyway," Laura said, breaking their contact, hugging her knees to her chest; the night breeze was starting to get to her. "Where were the stars in that story?"

"Oh. Yeah. Vega represents Zhuni; Altair represents Niulang. Deneb represents the bridge of magpies over the Milky Way."

"I see."

"The Chinese celebrate the meeting of the lovers with a festival on the 7th day of the 7th moon. The Japanese and the Koreans have their own versions of the story and the celebrations as well."

Laura hummed, impressed. "I'm convinced you know everything."

"I obviously don't, cutie. I just happened to know this." Carmilla grinned. "Oh, but what I'd give to know what you're thinking right now."

"Right now, I'm thinking someone should kiss me." Laura covered her mouth with both hands, eyes wide. She did not mean to let that thought slip out, especially now that they just made up and she was just realising her huge crush on the other girl. Carmilla chuckled as she pulled away Laura's hands from the tiny girl's face to hold them herself delicately, cold fingers grazing Laura's skin, tentative and as though afraid that she might break the smaller girl. Laura shut her eyes quickly, nostrils flared as she breathed heavily, nervously awaiting to taste the luscious lips as the taller girl slowly leaned in. The lips never reached her own, their soft pucker settling on her forehead instead.

Carmilla smiled as she pulled away from Laura. She took off her denim jacket and placed it on Laura's shoulders. She pressed her forehead against the other girl's and hummed with contentment as she laced their fingers together.

"And Danny said I was a tease." Carmilla snorted at the comment and threw her head back.

"I like you, cutie. A lot. I don't want you to rush into this. Especially now that we're just starting to understand each other. You don't have to feel pressured to do anything."

"And I like you too, Carm. Just so we're clear. You're not forcing me into anything." Laura kissed Carmilla's cheek, the skin cool against her lips. The dark-haired girl was taken aback, but eventually smiled, a hint of gloom in her eyes.

The night went on as Carmilla told Laura more folktales about the stars from around the world. They took small bites of the food the entire evening, Carmilla drinking blood from a sippy cup that Laura somehow failed to notice, and Laura alternating between cookies and cheese. She had a feeling that she would feel bloated in the morning as she washed everything down with champagne and grape soda, but she did not find it in herself to care. She was on a simple night out with her roommate, whom she liked, and who actually liked her back. Hours passed as they talked about everything and nothing, holding hands and letting go, whispering sweet nothings to each other's ears, leaving ghosts of kisses on each other's hands, cheeks, and forehead.

Laura, peaceful and contented, and feeling oddly secure and relaxed in the presence of her arguably dangerous roommate, eventually fell asleep against the other girl's shoulder. Carmilla was still talking about the Epic of Gilgamesh, which she'd read sometime ago out of boredom, when she noticed that Laura's breathing had calmed in a constant pattern. Carmilla supported Laura's head with one hand as she inhaled deeply and kissed her hair, not actually needing to breathe, but wanting to take in the scent of the tiny girl's fruity shampoo.

If this was like any of the other times that she'd spend staying up all night, she would have waited for the sunrise to witness the beautiful explosion of color as it filled the sky. Tonight, there was no need for that. She had the best view right beside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter for the 1st story arc. I hope you're still with me to the second arc.


	13. So slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of the second story Arc. Laura is becoming impatient with how slow Carmilla has been taking things. They talk about some other stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second Arc, here we go!!! Their school calendar is based on an actual Austrian university, btw. I forgot where I got it from, but Easter break is from the 15th til the 28th of April this year.

Laura and Carmilla had been taking things slow.

They hold hands, sleep beside each other and cuddle in Laura's bed, as according to Carmilla, it was more "comfy," and kiss each other's cheeks before going to their classes.

It was all too painfully slow, if Laura had anything to say about it.

Carmilla seemed hell-bent on keeping her promise to not pressure Laura into anything, while the smaller girl had been having more and more difficulty keeping her hands off the dark-haired beauty.

They haven't even kissed.

_I hope she realises what she does to me._

Laura had been having more of these thoughts whenever she finds herself in close proximity with the other girl. She'd been having dreams where they'd get all hot and bothered, and it's been waking her up in the middle of the night. The other girl would wake up as well when she stirs, and would do nothing but kiss her forehead and tell her that _It's alright, I'm here. I'll keep the bad dreams away,_ and hug her tighter as if to keep her safe.

But that was exactly the problem. The dreams weren't bad, and Carmilla sure as hell wouldn't be keeping the dreams away. If anything, Carmilla was the cause of the dreams.

By Easter break, in the month of April, Laura had dark circles under her eyes. The summer semester's midterms are approaching, and things with Carmilla have got to be settled if she had any plans of getting promoted to a sophomore.

Laura didn't go home to her Dad that break as she wanted to study in advance. She called her Dad, who simply reminded her to have fun with her 'totally platonic roommate' and to 'stay safe,' whatever the hell that meant. Laura Hollis was a hard worker, even if her sorta girlfriend wanted to laze around in their shared bed watching crappy movies with her all day.

Carmilla didn't really pester her while she was studying on her desk, but made a show out of sighing out loud repeatedly and muttering _I want a hug so bad, will someone please just hug me?_

Halfway through her 16-hour workday on the third day of the easter break, Laura had finally had enough.

"What do you want?"

A long sigh. "Nothing."

"No, really. I can't study while you're being all cute and annoying, which, to be honest, confuses the heck out of me. How can someone be so endearing and insufferable at the same time? Freaking jerk."

"I just wanna cuddle with my girlfriend."

Laura's head snapped at Carmilla's direction, ehile she stayed frozen on her seat. "Girlfriend?"

Carmilla froze as well, but kept her gaze on the other girl, her eyes full of panic. "Oh. I, uh. I'm sorry if I misunderstood. Aren't we..?"

"No! I mean, don't apologise. I, uh. I just didn't expect that you'd put a label on us so fast."

"Cupcake, I really thought I was being slow as fuck."

"And you are being slow as f-- heck!" Laura physically ached as she uttered the words, as she wanted to plead Carmilla to just move a little faster, to just kiss her, to just feel her, to just be with her. "I, um... What I meant was, after things with Danny, I didn't really think I was girlfriend material."

Carmill's eyes softened. "You are."

"If you really think so... Then... I'll be happy to be your girlfriend. I mean, if you'll have me."

"Didn't I just casually drop the girlfriend bomb on you? Of course I want you to be my girlfriend." After a beat, Carmilla added, "and no one else."

Instead of feeling glad, Laura was irritated for some reason and blurted something that she'd been keeping for the past weeks.

"Then why won't you kiss me!?"

Carmilla's jaw dropped; she was taken aback by the question.

Laura winced and quickly tried to amend her words. "I mean, um... If you're not ready to kiss me, that's fine."

Carmilla let go of the yellow pillow she'd been hugging as a sort of Laura proxy and slowly stood up. She approached Laura and took the smaller girl's face in her hands tentatively, leaned in, and placed a short, chaste kiss on the girl's full lips. Laura had to blink twice to realise what was going on, as the ghost of a kiss felt like a dream. It was so light, it was as if it hadn't happened at all.

"I've been ready since the first time I saw you."

Laura grinned widely as she stood up, taking Carmilla into her arms. She breathed in the scent of her lovely _girlfriend_.

"So you've had a crush on me since that day on the photocopying machine?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Then why did you look so irritated?"

"I wasn't. I was just... I'll tell you another time."

"How about when I cut you in line for the vegetarian options in the cafeteria?"

"Do vampires strike you as the type to eat vegetarian food?"

"Now that I think about it, no. Then I didnt cut the line on you?"

"No. When was that?"

"Before we knew each other. I saw you in the cafeteria, and I think I pissed you off. That was around October, I think?"

"Oh, cupcake. I wasn't mad or anything."

"I thought I pissed you off thrice. First was at the library, second was at the cafeteria, and the third time was at How You Bean."

"That third time was the only time, really. I'm sorry I was so mean to you back then, cutie."

Laura pulled away from the hug and held Carmilla by the shoulders. "But we're here now, aren't we?" She smiled and kissed Carmilla on the lips. Carmilla placed her hands on Laura's hips and pull her against her own body, and a gasp escaped from the smaller girl's lips.

"Keep doing that and I'll be pushing you down on the bed." Laura said with a heavy breath.

"Thanks for the tip." Carmilla kissed Laura again and slipped her tongue in, seeking out Laura's as one hand pushed Laura flush against her body yet again, while the other crept up her neck and lightly pulled a fistful of hair, languidly moving her lips against Laura's Laura moaned at the contact as her tongue danced with Carmilla's. Their lips locked with each other, Carmilla biting and pulling Laura's lower lip. Laura cradled Carmilla's head with both hands and deepened their kiss even further, Carmilla humming in pleasure as she sucked on her tongue. It was a good five minutes before either of them pulled away.

"Wow." Laura remarked as she tried to catch her breath. "We really should have done that sooner."

"If I were being honest, cupcake... I've been having a hard time keeping my hands off of you."

"I've been having a hard time keeping my hands off of YOU!" Laura cried.

"I just didn't want you to think that you were just a girl of the week."

"I never thought that, Carm." Laura caressed Carmilla's face and tucked stray dark locks behind her ear. "You've been so sweet and so considerate. Who knew my jerkass roommate had a side like this? To think that I was scared of you at some point. And that was before I even knew you were a vampire."

Carmilla chuckled and pulled Laura close again, nuzzling her nose into the crook of Laura's neck. "Why were you scared of me?"

"Because I thought I pissed you off, and you have to admit, you kind of have a reputation around here. This little freshman is quick to believe rumours."

Carmilla's face became all serious as she faced Laura again. "Those first two times, you didn't piss me off, cupcake." After sighing heavily, Carmilla explained. "I was surprised to see you."

"What? Why? You didn't even know me."

Carmilla sighed yet again, pinching the bridge of her nose. She seemed to have been debating on whether to say her reasons or not. Laura prodded further.

"Why, Carm?"

After a long pause, Carmilla finally answered.

"Because you looked just like my Laura."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	14. Laura's anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura confronts Carmilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was maddened with anxiety as I was writing this and I think it showed in how this chapter was written. I'm so sorry.

Laura fell silent. She did not know what to make of Carmilla's words; her mind immediately went to overdrive and she anxiously overthought every interaction she had with Carmilla.

The anger that first time in the library was not actually anger; it was surprise at seeing the love of her life, alive, yet not quite _her_. The same goes for that time at the cafeteria.

Carmilla singing Francis Forever was neither for Carmilla nor for Laura herself; it was for the _other_ Laura.

_I miss you more than anything._

The lyrics had said.

 _I don't think I could stand to be where you don't see me._ It further went.

Laura could remember clearly the other song, the one Carmilla had sung in the old unused building, Geyser. It had said:

_You're my number one_  
_You're the one I want_  
_And I've turned down every hand_  
_That has beckoned me to come_

She felt like an idiot. After they'd cleared things up, Laura thought that Carmilla saw something in her that made her so vastly different from the other girls, that it was only her that Carmilla could choose to be with; that all other hands that invited Carmilla had nothing on Laura, that it was her that Carmilla had unknowingly waited for to try and fall in love again after being so broken beyond repair after her one true love whom she'd lost a very long time ago.

She thought that when Carmilla became nicer to Laura, Carmilla had been projecting her love for that other girl. When they spent time together underneath the stars, Carmilla had been thinking of someone else. All that talk about having to wait longer than a year while they were talking about Zhuni and Niulang was about her being an exact look-alike of the Laura of Carmilla's past, finally coming into Carmilla's undead life once again.

Laura felt her heart slowly shatter into pieces.

All along, she was nothing but a stand-in for that girl Carmilla fell in love with in 1698.

"Cupcake." Carmilla interrupted her from her anxiety-ridden thoughts.

Laura said nothing as tears threatened to spill out of her eyes.

"Cupcake, what are you thinking? Please just tell me." Carmilla asked worriedly.

"Is that what I am to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you like me just because I look like _her_?

"I..." Carmilla began.

"If you think you're gonna hurt me with what you're about to say, don't answer the question."

Carmilla kept her mouth shut.

The silence was all Laura needed to confirm her fears.

"Alright then. Alright." Laura said, her voice shaking. She tried to stifle her sobs but failed miserably. She felt herself entrapped in Carmilla's embrace, and became even more miserable as she so needed the solace of the very same person who hurt her, and fell deeper into the embrace, inhaling Carmilla's minty scent all the while.

"Cupcake..."

"Don't start with me, Carmilla." Laura said in between hiccups.

"No, hear me out. Not talking will not help us here."

"Fine," she said, hugging the taller girl back.

Carmilla run her hand through Laura's hair. "To be honest, you remind me a lot of her. It's more than just your name, your face, your stature, or the way you wake up in the middle of night after having some terrible dream."

Laura blushed as her dreams were not at all terrible. Unaware of the other girl's musings, Carmilla went on.

"You both have amazing wit, and you both are very passionate people about things you believe in, to the extent of being stubborn."

Laura let out a small laugh at that comment.

"Still, my liking for you doesn't end there. You've liked me for me, and I really see a future with you. I can see myself falling in love with you, cutie."

Laura pulled away from the hug and looked at Carmilla with tear-filled eyes.

"Not just because I remind you of her?"

"No, Laura."

Laura smiled. "You finally called me by my name."

"Did it bother you? I'm sorry, cupcake." Carmilla looked entirely apologetic with her head turned towards the ground.

"Kind of, but the nicknames are sorta growing on me."

"So, are we good?"

"I'll think about it." Laura said with a serious face.

"Oh. Alright. I'll give you as much time as you need, but I promise I won't disappear on you again."

"I'm just kidding, Carm. As if I could resist you."

"You totally can, Laura. I'll give you space. I like you a lot, and I don't want to fuck this up."

"And I like you a lot. Alright, give me space. But please don't stop sleeping beside me. I've gotten used to having you to cuddle."

Later, when the two went to sleep, they laid beside each other, with Carmilla acting as a big spoon. She caressed Laura's hair, cooing to the girl until she fell asleep.

The days passed with the two barely talking to each other. Carmilla never approached Laura except when it was time to sleep. Laura missed talking to the other girl; she missed her voice, she missed Carmilla's willingness to talk about everything and nothing with her; heck, she even missed Carmilla's incessant teasing.

All the while, Carmilla had been nothing but sweet and considerate. The fridge was always stocked with grape soda and cookies. There were chocolate bars between the pages of Laura's books per chapter, which seemed to have been a sort of reward for every chapter that Laura finishes. Good morning notes were left every morning at Laura's desk, telling her to take a break every once in a while. These all happened without Carmilla uttering a word, and Laura felt thankful that Carmilla still acted like a very romantic girlfriend while still respecting her wishes. Laura marvelled at how Carmilla would know how to treat her at times like these, which reminded her of the _other_ Laura. She tried to shake the thoughts off but found herself unable to.

It took them two steps back.

Laura found herself irritated at every sweet gesture by Carmilla, finally asking her to stop doing them for her. The way Carmilla understood her so much had bothered her and made her think too much about how Carmilla could have been treating her as she treated the _other_ Laura.

Carmilla stopped doing things for Laura, but never stopped sleeping beside her and humming her to sleep. It made Laura feel guilty about ignoring the other girl, but still reveled in the intimacy that Carmilla offered.

She realised how serious Carmilla was and really thought over how not pursuing a relationship with this girl would not be worth it, just because she was feeling insecure of some dead girl.

Laura finally talked to Carmilla again on Walpurgisnacht.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Walpurgisnacht is a German festival on the 30th of April. Thank you for reading!


	15. Interlude: Carmilla's perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short recap of things that had happened so far, told from Carmilla's perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short break before the story of Walpurgisnacht

Blacks. Whites. Grays.

That was all the woman saw, ever since the incident that tore her cold, unbeating heart apart at its sinews. Still, she had yet to suffer her rightful share in guilt, she truly believed. She felt remorse in falling in love; a creature like her could not possibly feel human emotions. She deserved more than the decades she spent held voluntarily captive in that coffin, filled to the brim with blood as much as it were with her regrets.

Her mother tried to convince her to not go on with her plan, showering her with gifts and choice of women. The dean had loved her so, as she was one of her favourites, if the older woman had to admit. She referred to her as her High Priestess, her sparkling diamond in the rough. Carmilla never knew what made her so special. All the special treatment as she was mourning made here angrier with herself, and she ultimately chose isolation.

She had eventually escaped her prison of blood on accident, not out of her own volition; but the ghosts of her past still do not grant her respite. She's tried; and by gods, has she tried. Different bodies to warm her bed; beautiful faces giving her their flushed, demure smiles right as she take them. Yet, no one has ever been so close to her heart as her, whose name she deemed so sacred that it felt blasphemous to let it leave her lips. She knows she could not blame these women; she was never one to let them near her true self to begin with. She guarded her heart well, tucking it in her breast like a carefully kept secret, too afraid that tonight's lover would flee should they see the horrible face behind the flirtatious seductress.

She did not let herself feel hope in her dallyings with these women, for hope would give her a chance, and a chance sent her spending the better part of the past century atoning for taking the chance. She was not in a hurry to subject herself to that self-flagellation again. She had learned her lesson, and she had learned it well.

Even if she was ready, no one will ever replace her.

Still, it seems that the gods and goddesses, or whoever is in charge, was hell-bent on playing tricks on her.

One day, in the library, she saw a woman busily photocopying some readings off of a book.

She looked just like _her_ , the woman whose death broke her a long time ago, and still did even centuries later. Her, the woman who loved her for who she was and not what she was. Her, the woman she had lovingly called star-gazing Aster.

Carmilla felt angrier with the universe for playing its dirty tricks on her. She, albeit with a tinge of guilt, took it out on the smaller woman, especially when she spilled coffee on her. It was _Laura_ , but not quite _her_ Laura.

Imagine her surprise when she found out that they even shared the same name.

Imagine the bigger surprise she felt when her mother decided that she must share rooms with this tiny unLaura Laura. She flirted, teased, and flustered her, just to get a rise out of her, so she can drive her away.

Still, she immediately confronted her mother once she discovered this change of room assignments.

"How did you manage to send away her roommate?"

"Simple. I recommended her name to Princeton. Her records show that she's achieved more than enough to qualify, so I did not really need to pull any strings."

"Why did you assign me with _her_?"

"I thought it might help you, darling."

"You? Help me? I don't believe it. And how would it even help? Give me someone I've loved for so long, who I can't even touch?"

"What, can't a mother be concerned with her daughter?"

"You're not even my real mother."

"Oh, but I have been your mother for a far longer time than your birth mother. That has to count for something, right, my dear? How can you be so cold to your mamán?"

Carmilla furrowed her brows, pinching the bridge of her nose. She had a terrible headache; she hadn't even come to terms with how the two women shared faces and shared names. Now, her mother wants her to live with her.

She nevertheless obeyed, as she understood that she was indebted to her mother. The short time she had with her Aster was only possible because of her mother, who gave her another chance at life. She made a point to not feel resentful of outliving Laura, as they wouldn't have had a chance to have a happy life together, however short-lived, had her mother left her to rot in that god-forsaken dungeon.

When they started living together, Carmilla started to annoy Laura, like an elementary schoolboy with a crush. It masked the anxiety she felt when she was around her, as she reminded her so much of her lost Lenore. It worked for a while, until Carmilla started getting to know Laura, and found some great differences between them, differences that made her like her. She found herself liking this Laura more and more each day, even outside of the fact that she reminded her of her past love.

This Laura made her feel things, things she haven't felt in a long time. _A very long time._

And so, Carmilla decided to become nicer to Laura. She tried to help with her girl problems as much as she could without showing any hint of jealousy; she did feel jealous, but it would be out of character, at least that character which she had shown Laura, for her to act like a scorned suitor.

It was just her luck that it turned out that Laura liked her, too.

She sang Geyser to her as a late Christmas gift, hoping that Mitski would speak in behalf of her so that her feelings may come across.

Her biggest fear was Laura would discover that she looked just like her long lost love, and would think that she had been nothing but a replacement for that girl.

That couldn't be further from the truth.

If she were being honest, it did start out that way. However, that made Carmilla treat Laura badly, like a child throwing a tantrum after her playmate left her alone in the sandbox. It made her sing Francis Forever, when she was still projecting her love for her Laura into this Laura. But eventually, Carmilla started liking this Laura for who she was: for how she was a hardworker, a geek, a person with deep thirst for knowledge and the truth; her feelings for Laura were slowly growing, but she wasn't brave enough to admit it to the smaller girl yet. So when they had the talk about her past, when Laura finally confronted her and she had to explain herself, she said instead:

"I really see a future with you. I can see myself falling in love with you, cutie."

But that was a lie; Carmilla was already falling in love with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this switch of perspective helps the story in all our heads. Thank you for reading!
> 
> Fun fact: this is the forst chapter I ever wrote for this fanfic. I originally planned to write this whole thing from Carmilla's perspective, but I changed my mind at the last minute.


	16. Walpurgisnacht

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do they make up? Do they give up?

It was Walpurgisnacht.

Classes had resumed on the 29th of April, but the Dean of Students had declared the 30th as a day off for the celebrations.

Which meant that there would be a bonfire in the middle of the campus to celebrate St. Walpurga and to drive away witches, if the folktale was to be believed.

Which meant that couples had an excuse to spend time together in the night to celebrate the event, and to greet May Day together.

Which meant that Laura had to clear things up with Carmilla.

Laura deemed it good as any other day to ask Carmilla out on a date to talk things over.

"I'd love to, Laura," the taller girl had replied.

They agreed to meet up at 6 p.m. later that night.

In the meanwhile, she spent the day with Laf and Perry, whom she helped bake treats to give away to randos in the school grounds. It was Perry's tradition to bake for events like these, and a certain sector of the student population had started looking forward to her baking.

Lafontaine, who was banned from the kitchen due to a noodle incident, started talking about the night's celebrations.

"Should we really be celebrating St. Walpurga?"

"Why do you ask?" Laura said.

"It seems kinda sexist that we try to drive away witches tonight and instead celebrate the saint who brought Christianity to Germany."

"I never really thought about that. All I really think about is Goethe's Faust, which Carmilla told me about once."

"Oh yeah, Frosh, what's up with you two?"

"What do you mean?"

"We barely see you two. Are you dating? I mean, I ship it."

Laura smiled and blushed. "Yeah, we kinda are."

"That's great!" Laf hugged Laura, who was still trying to mix the wet ingredients for the cookies. "I knew it. If there was anyone who could make her swear off sleeping around, it'd be you."

"Why, because I looked like her dead girlfriend?" Laura snapped.

"Woah, I didn't even know that, L."

"You looked like her Laura?" Perry asked as she put the cookies in the oven.

"Wait, you know about that?" Laf asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I might have heard something while I was on duty at the Dean's office."

"Oh my god, Perr. What else do you know?" Laura prompted.

Laf answered for her. "We knew she's a vampire, for starters."

"You knew that?"

"Wait, what? There's no such thing as vampires. That's impossible." Perry said, shaking her head.

"Perr, she has blood in her milk container. She's strong enough to snap your fingers, which she threatened to do to you, by the way. Plus, she's awake all night. What else could she possibly be?"

"A sadistic insomniac with bad taste for pranks?"

Laf shook their head. "Whatever, Perr." Laf turned to Laura. "Look, frosh. If you look like her Laura that much, what does it matter? It's you that she likes now. Right? I mean you're dating her, you probably know her better than I do now."

Laura fell silent and mulled over Laf's words. She realised that she'd been nothing but a jerk to Carmilla, who's been nothing but understanding about her insecurity. That was what bugged her; that Carmilla understood.

"Talk things out. As Perry told you before, communication is important to a good roommate relationship, or any relationship for that matter. Bottle things up all you like, but that won't solve anything."

"You're more bothered by my discomfort than her being a vampire. You two are my bestfriends, you know that?"

"Well, I've never really been afraid of weird. And yeah we know. And as your bestfriends, I think we have to tell you something." Lafontaine shared a look with Perry, who merely nodded.

"You two are dating?"

"How did you know?" Laf asked, surprised.

"It was pretty obvious. You share all these lingering looks and hand-touching and plus, you scoot a little bit closer to each other whenever. I'm surprised you two can still see with all that eye-fucking."

"Damn frosh, that's the first time I heard you say 'fuck'!" Lafontaine laughed.

"Language, Laura." Perry said, blushing.

Laura scratched her nape as she giggled. "Sorry guys. But I'm super happy for you two! It's about time!"

"Yeah, well. Communication." Laf said.

.....

**Sometime in June**

"Cupcake."

"Hm?"

"I.." the woman began hesitantly.

"Is there something wrong, Carm?" The shorter woman's use of the familiar nickname tugged at her heartstrings. She never believed such a simple syllable would've made her heart skip a beat, if it beat at all.

"It's nothing." She smiled. _I love you._

Laura rummaged through their laundry basket, looking for any cash she may have left in the pockets of her worn jeans. She sighed to herself, wondering how she fell into the habit of not emptying out her pockets before taking them off. Carmilla's sloppy habits are starting to rub off on her, she realizes. Not that she's complaining, she liked Carmilla's rubbing. She liked it very much, if last night was telling. She snorted to herself at that innuendo as she found a meager 2 dollars and 95 cents. She then turned and looked expectantly at Carmilla, who opened her hand to show a crumpled 5 dollar bill with a shrug.

"So we have a little less than 8 dollars between us. I guess we could just go to In n Out," Laura said.

"And then maybe we can go eat at In n Out Burger," Carmilla replied with a straight face, mirth in her eyes.

The shorter girl tried and failed to suppress a grin. "You are unbelievable."

....

 

**Walpurgisnacht (30 April), 6 p.m.**

Laura shot a text to Carmilla, saying that she was at their meeting place at the park, a bench beneath a canopy of trees.

Carmilla tapped Laura on the shoulder, which surprised the smaller girl.

"Gosh, Carm! You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry, cupcake."

"You always move so quietly," Laura remarked.

"Sorry, I wanted to surprise you. Here, have this."

It was a small bouquet of Laura's favorite cheap chocolate bars with a little note that said 'I'm sorry, please like me.'

"You didn't have to get me anything, Carm. All I have with me are the reject cookies from Perr's." After a beat, she added, "And that's three sorry's tonight already."

"What, no comment about the 'please like me'?"

"I think we've established that I do like you."

"And I like you." Carmilla scratched the back of her head, looking down as she added. "So, you still willing to give a shot to this dating thing?"

"Of course." Laura smiled.

Carmilla immediately hugged Laura close to her and inhaled her scent and letting out a sigh. "I'm so relieved."

"I'm sorry if I was being silly about that whole thing."

"No, cutie. You weren't being silly. The way you feel is valid, and don't let anyone, even me, tell you otherwise."

Laura hugged Carmilla back and kissed her cheek. "To be honest, I think it will still bother me for a long time. But I think we can work past it, if you're willing to help me."

Carmille pulled away from the hug and held Laura by the hands, looking at her sincerely. "Of course, I will."

They stayed like that for a few minutes, later holding hands as Carmilla put her head on Laura's shoulder. Laura started to feel cold, so Carmilla pulled her to the bonfire in the middle of campus.

Surrounded by friends and strangers, the two kissed as the fires burned to send away witches on that cool spring night.

"Don't you think it's fitting that we made up on Walpurgisnacht because you love Goethe so much?"

"I hope not. That would mean you just made a deal with the devil."

"You'd make a beautiful Mephistopheles, Carm."

"Devils are supposed to be attractive. Aren't you scared of me at all?" Carmilla joked.

"I have you with me. That's why I'm not scared. I might become scared, but that's just another feeling. I still like you."

"Such a Gryffindor."

"What, you read Harry Potter now?" Surprise was obvious in the tone of Laura's voice.

"I might have caught up some reading on your books while we weren't talking. Stocking up on things that interest you, you know. So you'll keep on being interested in me."

"You don't have to do that Carm. I'm always interested in you."

"It's just my Ravenclaw showing." Carmilla winked at Laura, who hugged her in pure happiness and ecstasy, as she realised that this woman would go lengths to impress her. If she were being honest, she was already highly impressed.

"Ah, I like you so much." Laura said as she buried her face in Carmilla's locks.

"I'm just happy you didn't give up on me, cupcake."

The pure joy the two felt showed that night, in the privacy of their dorm room, when the two shared their first intimate time together right into the wee hours of May Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, um. That was a cop out. Do you want a play by play of that first intimate night? Let me know in the comments section. Lol. Thank you for reading!
> 
> PS the In n Out joke was stolen from Trixie Mattel in a Bestfriends For Cash video she had with Katya.


	17. A meeting at a diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla decides to introduce Laura to some people as her girlfriend.

"Come on, cutie. Hurry up."

"Are you sure about this? Isn't it too soon?" Laura said as she was dressing up.

"As someone who has lived centuries, I experience time a bit differently. So if there's anyone who can be a judge of 'too soon' here, it's me; and I tell you, it's not too soon."

"Hmm. If you say so."

It was May 2nd when Carmilla decided to introduce Laura to her siblings. The tinier girl was too nervous and anxious for her own good. It didn't help that the two of them made up just two days prior to today. Still, Carmilla kept reassuring her that she will do just fine and that they were going to like her.

It was a Thursday night; a weeknight, which made Laura even more jittery. She had papers due the next day but Carmilla had insisted that they meet up with Mattie and Will, the one in the band with Carmilla and Kirsch, anyway. Laura would have been done with the papers had the two of them not been busy with each other yesterday, on May Day, but they spent the entirety of the day in bed, talking about everything and nothing, and of course, doing what they felt needed doing in that tiny bed.

Laura was dressed in a simple blouse and jeans, while Carmilla merely wore a band shirt and a jean jacket and shorts. She had assured Laura that she looked presentable as it would just be a casual meet up at a diner.

The two took a cab to an address Mattie had texted Carmilla. When they arrived at the place, it was a pretty decent French restaurant with respectable patrons. The place didn't look too expensive, but it looked posh enough for the two of them to look out of place.

"It's just like Mattie to pick a place like this when I told her we could just meet up at a diner." Carmilla shook her head and looked apologetically at Laura. "I'm sorry cutie. I should have expected this."

"It's... It's fine, Carm. Let's just get this over with."

Carmilla held Laura's hand and squeezed it, interlacing their fingers together. She kissed Laura's temple and pulled her towards the façade of the building. There was a person manning the front entrance, who eyed them not with judgment, but with intrigue. Laura felt herself become smaller out of embarassment at being underdressed.

"Reservations?"

"The party of four with Belmonde?"

The person's eyes lit up in recognition as their eyes darted back and forth between the paper they had in their hands and the two women in front of them. "Ah, Ms. Karnstein and Ms. Hollis, yes? Table number 5. Enjoy your evening." They smiled.

"Phew. I thought we were getting sent away."

"No, cupcake. I think they know the name Belmonde around here. And Karnstein as well. I think they recognised me."

Laura merely nodded. There were still a lot of things that she did not know about her centuries-old vampire girlfriend, and it made her feel uncomfortable. She should really be talking to her more about those things.

They walked towards Table 5 and saw Mattie and Will already seated, eagerly awaiting their arrival.

"Hello, you two." Mattie drawled.

"Mattie, Will. This is Laura. Laura, you've met Mattie before, but you haven't really met Will yet, haven't you?"

"A pleasure to finally meet you, Laura. I've heard so much about you." Will stood up and took Laura's hand and kissed the back of it. Carmilla glared at Will, albeit with no malice as it was followed by a smile, while he merely grinned and shrugged. Laura, on the other hand, was glad that the two of them weren't the only ones underdressed. Will was wearing jeans and a white shirt that read 'Zeta Omega Mu.'

"Now don't you two look adorable. Take a seat, we don't want to tire the two of you too much before your... _activities_."

Will almost choked on his water while Carmilla glared at Mattie, though this time there was no hint of playfulness in her look, but more of irritation and embarassment. Laura seemed oblivious for the most part and did as she was told.

The four of them sat together in silence, two faces beaming, one looking down, and one visibly irked.

Laura broke the silence. "So, um. What do you do, Will?"

"Oh you know, just studying Lit here and there. Being a bro to the Zetas. Being a bro to Kitty here."

"Kitty?"

"Oh, yeah. I meant _Carm_ here."

"Maybe I'll start calling her Kitty too," Laura teased Carmilla.

"Oh I dare you to try cupcake."

Mattie cleared her throat. "So Laura, what is it exactly that made you like our little middle child here?"

"You don't have to answer that, cutie."

"No, but I want to." Laura held Carmilla's hand underneath the table and squeezed it in hers, rubbing her thumb across the cool knuckles of her girlfriend. Turning to Mattie, she answered nervously. "I don't know what exactly it is. I just feel like this about her, and that's enough for me. There are many things I like about her, like her wisdom, and there are many things I don't exactly like, like her sloppy room habits. Those things may pass, or maybe they won't; I'm not really sure. The only thing I'm sure of is that I will never hurt your sister."

Mattie laughed a surprisingly throaty yet elegant laugh. "Mircalla really wasn't exaggerating when she told me about your rambling habit. Relax, Laura Hollis. This isn't that kind of talk. We just want to know you. Though I have to say, that's an interesting answer"

Will offered a smile. "I wasn't even around yet when Kitty last dated anybody, so this is a first for me. I never thought I'd see the day that she'd date someone seriously enough to introduce to us like this."

"I see." Laura's shoulders relaxed a bit and she unclenched her unconsciously clenched jaw. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, for one, I'd love to know what you think of Laura. You know, the _other_ Laura."

"Mattie, we've talked about this. We only talk about _this_ Laura, not that one." Carmilla said with stress in her tone.

"It's okay, Carm. Maybe this can be one of the ways we can move past this." Laura smiled. "From what I've heard so far, I'm sure she's a lovely person."

"Afraid you won't measure up?" Mattie challenged.

"Of course." Laura said confidently; at least, as confidently as someone admittedly insecure can be. "I can't help that. But I'm Carm's present, and that's all that matters."

"You better marry her or I will, Kitty," Will commented, taken aback by Laura's candor.

Carmilla chuckled. "Like I'd give her up to you, fresh meat."

"I've heard that you looked just like her. How do you feel about that, if you don't mind me asking?" Will asked.

"Of course I was bothered by it. If I'm being honest, I probably still am. But we promised we'd work things out." Laura shared a look with Carmilla, whose hand she was still holding. "I want to make good on that promise."

At that, Carmilla flashed Laura her sincerest most beautiful, smile, expressing all the emotions she hoped to get across.

"I like you," said Mattie, looking at the two of them. Laura's head turned back to her. "And that's saying something as I do not like a lot of things by default. But I like you." Turning to Carmilla, Mattie uttered as slyly as she could. "I cannot wait for mother to meet her."

"You know she knows her already."

"Yes, but not as your girlfriend."

Carmilla pinched the bridge of her nose, a habit she seemed to have been forming. "That would be fun," she said, letting as much sarcasm drip from her words.

At that moment, several dishes arrived at their table.

"I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of ordering us our dinner. It's all on me." Mattie smiled at Laura, the first sincere smile she gave to her that evening. "Shall we?"

Dinner was not as eventful as their pre-dinner chit-chat. Laura mostly had small-talk with Will while Carmilla and Mattie mostly whispered secretly to each other. It bothered Laura, but she kept mum about it as she promised to work through her insecurites about Carmilla's past with her.

"So how's your studies going?" Mattie finally asked Laura.

"Oh, it goes. I still have some papers to finish but I'm still ahead in some of my classes."

"What a hardworker you are. Unlike our Kitty cat here."

"It helps that I actually know more than my professors. And I've read all the assignments before, and I've actually met some of the authors behind the readings." Carmilla said nonchalantly.

"Show off." Laura teased.

"What, I've lived long enough to actually talk to Foucault. If you need help, I've talked with McLuhan and Margaret Mead as well."

"Oh so you know about her letters to Ruth?"

"Yeah, and I've read them."

"What can you say about them?"

"It was very romantic. A lot of pining, sure, but that was expected considering the time. She had to be married to a man."

Laura decided to test out Carmilla's knowledge. "What can you say about her 'Coming of Age in the Samoa'?"

"It was kind of a hit and miss. She thought too much into the sex aspect of all of the interactions of the adolescents in Samoa. You could say she sort of exoticised them."

"Now, now, Kitty cat. Let's hold off on the opinions about our friend Margaret." Mattie said.

"That was actually one of the criticisms against her work there." Laura said, astonished.

"Yeah well, she didn't want to hear it. She wanted to apply historical particularism and emphasise the differences between her culture and Samoan culture, which wasn't really surprising given that she worked with Franz."

"You mean Franz Boas?"

"Yep."

"You knew him, too?"

"Uh, not that well. Met him a couple of times."

"Why didn't you just take anthropology?"

"I've told you already, I'm more interested in Philosophy."

"Nerd." Will said teasingly in between bites.

Laura's predisposition to investigative journalism served her well that night.

She learned more about the siblings through the chit-chat. She learned that Carmilla used to go by 'Mircalla' in the old days, her birth name, which is why Mattie kept calling her by that name from time to time. She learned how much Carmilla loved chocolate, which explained why she stole so much of Laura's stash in their early days as roommates. She learned that Will was the youngest of them, having been turned in the late 1800s, and that his band with Carmilla played sort of regularly at How You Bean, and that of course, he was best buds with Kirsch who was also a Zeta. Mattie was a bit more secretive, but she learned that she was a lawyer based on the language she used to describe her work, and that she worked in close proximity with their mother in behalf of the school.

Towards the end of the night, Mattie ordered in some Dom Perignon and proposed a toast; 'To Laura' she said. Laura was unsure which one of them the toast was for. She opted to pour a few libations for the past Laura, wherever her soul may be.

The two took a cab back to their dorms, holding hands yet silent.

Carmilla was the one to break the stillness between the two of them.

"You okay, creampuff?"

"Yeah. Just a little overwhelmed is all."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologise. I love that you let me meet them. It really made me realise how serious you are with me, although I have to admit that it was a little sudden because we've made up just the other day."

Carmilla looked at her seriously. "It's the other way around. I let them meet you."

Laura smiled at the slight possessiveness in Carmilla's voice and gave her a short peck on the lips. Whatever talk she wanted to have with Carmilla about her whispering with Mattie, or her papers due the next day, was shelved for another time. When they reached home, it was her turn to show her own possessive side to Carmilla.

She started by seductively touching the other girl's inner thigh as they were in the cab. she got a hitched breath and raised eyebrows as an answer; that was the beginning of their night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> PS edited as of 11th April


	18. A meeting at a real diner this time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla meets Sherman.

"Some platonic roommate."

Laura's head turned faster than what she thought was possible after hearing her dad's voice. She had been in the middle of a heavy make out session with Carmilla outside their door as they were fumbling with their keys and the lock, both breathing heavily and hungry for each other, not noticing that it was already unlocked and someone may have entered into their room.

"U-um, hi Dad..." 

"Is this what you've been up to the entire break?" Sherman Hollis said, crossing his arms, his voice tainted with a mix of disappointment and anger.

"Uh, n-no Dad! I really studied during the Easter Break. Even during the Whitsun break."

Carmilla stood there quietly, her lips swollen from all the sucking and biting Laura did. She couldn't decide whether it would be more polite to greet Laura's dad then or to choose to not acknowledge him at all until Laura introduces her; and the longer Carmilla waited, the more impolite she would seem.

"Is this the totally platonic roommate you've been telling me about?"

"Yes! And um, we're sort of dating now."

"Sort of? Are you playing games with my girl, young lady?" He asked Carmilla.

"Uh. No sir. I am entirely serious with your daughter, sir. I'm Carmilla, your daughter's girlfriend, sir."

Sherman laughed at Carmilla's nervousness. "Stop it with the sir's, Carmilla. You can call me Sherman."

"I am sorry to be doing such uncouth activities with your daughter."

"Sorry to be uncouth or sorry you got caught?"

"A little bit of both, if I'm being honest, sir."

Sherman Hollis erupted in a fit of laughter at that answer. "You've got a very beautiful lady here, Laura. Too serious, but she seems alright." Sherman stretched out a hand to Carmilla to give a handshake; Carmilla took it and shook it firmly.

"Hot damn, your hands are cold. No need to be nervous around me, Carmilla." Carmilla just laughed a bit more nervously in response. Clearly, Laura hadn't told Sherman about their relationship, much less about her condition. "Just as long as you two stay out of trouble. I trust you know how much of a handful she can be."

"Well, you know how hard it is to resist her once she sets her mind on something." Carmilla smiled.

"I'm right here!" Laura interjected.

Sherman and Carmilla chuckled at the same time, while Laura merely shook her head at the two.

"I better not catch you two doing that again or I'm telling the Dean of Students to separate you two." Sherman said a bit more seriously.

"But Dad!"

"No buts, young lady." He then turned to Carmilla. "I expect you to be the more level-headed one here. I heard from Laura that you're a junior. If anything happens to her, you're responsible. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Again with the 'sir.' Call me Sherman, will you? You're making me feel old." He chortled.

"Um, hey dad, why did you visit all of a sudden by the way?"

"I missed my baby girl! Isn't that enough of a reason? You barely contacted me during the break, for Christ's sake."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I got busy with school work." _and Carmilla._

"Well, that's fine. It's a bit late so I believe you've had dinner already?"

The two nodded.

"Let's grab brunch tomorrow if you don't have classes. I just wanted to meet the roommate you've been ranting about and treat my babygirl."

"Yeah, Carm and I both have classes before that but I think we also both have free periods from 10am until 1pm on Fridays."

"Perfect. I'll be staying at a motel around the corner and I'll come pick you up here at 10am, alright?" Sherman ruffled Laura's hair and kissed her on the forehead. "Good night sweetheart." With a sharp look at Carmilla, saying "Watch over her." He left.

As the door closed, Carmilla spoke up and let out a breath.

"Phew, that was nerve-wracking." Carmilla said, plopping down on Laura's bed, hugging her yellow pillow.

"Now you know how I felt about the dinner with Mattie and Will."

"That's different. This is your dad, and you signed us up for brunch tomorrow. That's when I'll know how you felt."

"Just be ready. He'll interrogate the heck out of you. I remember when I used to sorta date Danny, he always used to call her up to check up on me. Maybe she adopted that overprotective habit from him."

"Nah, cutie. Xena was already like that before you came here."

"Ugh let's stop talking about her. Let's talk about you." With a teasing smile, Laura asked Carmilla. "So, you were nervous, huh?"

"Who wouldn't be? Meeting your girlfriend's dad is a big deal."

"Big enough of a deal to kill the mood?" Laura said as she hopped on over and hovered above Carmilla's body, pinning her down.

"Oh cupcake, you don't know what you're getting yourself into."

"Trust me, I do."

………

Laura had to rush a paper due for her 7 a.m. class at 3:30 in the morning. She barely slept, having been busy with Carmilla the entire night.

She submitted the paper on time; luckily enough, the professor gave them a free cut after collecting the papers, so she went straight back to the dorms to get a few hours of sleep before she had to meet up with her Dad.

Laura was surprised to see Carmilla typing on her laptop upon reaching their room.

"Whatcha up to, Carm?"

"It's your Kipling reading assignment due later."

"Shoot! I almost forgot about that. But wait, you do realise I won't be submitting your work as mine, right?"

"Who said I was doing the entire assignment? I'm making a summary for you to work on. We'll be back by 1 p.m. anyway, so you can still cram this paper in 2 hours with this summary. Now go and sleep."

Laura felt nothing but tenderness for Carmilla, who not only helped her without her having to ask, but who still nonetheless understood her work ethic. She laid down on Carmilla's bed, which still smelled of her, and quickly fell asleep.

She dreamt of a woman who looked just like her. The woman was waving at her, and was giving her the warmest of smiles. She felt herself being enveloped by the warmth of sunshine and the smell of daffodils and old musty books. The woman approached her and held her hand. They shared a look, with Laura being reticent, while the other woman seemed open.

Laura then heard Carmilla from behind her, beckoning her to come.

"Come here, Laura."

The two women approached Carmilla, both surprised that the other heeded the call. They walked slowly, the other woman talkng Laura's hand. They walked like that until Carmilla started to call her by 'cupcake.'

"Cupcake. Wake up."

"Wha-?"

"You're dreaming. Come on, get up. It's 9:30."

At that, Laura stood up and went straight for the shower. She was freaked out by the dream, but told herself to not tell Carmilla about it, afraid that she might worry.

After taking a quick shower, Laura was surprised to see Carmilla all set for the brunch with her Dad. She was wearing a collared white shirt, her leather jacket, jeans, and black boots. Laura silently wondered if this was Carmilla's idea of looking formal to meet a parent.

"You look dashing as always, Carm."

"Do you really think so?"

"Yeah. You're so beautiful." Laura gave her a peck on the cheek.

"This is actually the first time I'm meeting a parent."

"How about Laura's parents?"

"I didn't exactly ask for her hand in marriage in the 1700s, cupcake."

Laura made an 'o' shape with her mouth and promptly dressed up. She wore a yellow sundress and white doll shoes, and took Carmilla by the hand to wait for her Dad downstairs.

Sherman arrived a few minutes later in a pick-up. Carmilla held Laura's hand as she rode the vehicle, and she followed suit.

"We're gonna be eating at a diner, if that's okay with you ladies."

Laura shared and amused look with Carmilla, giggling at the memory of last night.

"Of course Dad. Anywhere with you."

"Alright, buckle up."

The drive to the diner was chatty but awkward, as Carmilla did not know what to say. The father and daughter duo were clearly in sync, and she did not know how to act around the two of them together.

When they finally arrived at the diner, Carmilla yet again gave her hand out to Laura to help her alight the truck. Unbenknownst to Carmilla, Sherman saw the interaction and hummed in approval.

Laura and Carmilla sat on one side of the booth while Sherman sat across them. Sherman and Laura both ordered pancakes with lots of bacon on the side, while Carmilla had a rare steak.

"So Carmilla, what are you majoring in?"

"Philosophy, sir."

"Philosophy? I'm sorry for asking, but what kind of job are you hoping to get with that degree?"

"I was thinking of pursuing my masters and getting a teaching job at Silas."

Laura looked at Carmilla in surprise, as this was the first time she'd heard of this plan.

"I see. Wanna shape the minds of the future?"

"I just don't wanna see more dumb kids."

Sherman laughed at the comment and reached across the table, tapping Carmilla's shoulder with his hand good-naturedly.

"You have a real catch here, Laura."

"Tell me about it. She's real popular around here. I mean, just look at her, Dad. I have a lot of rivals."

"She doesn't need to worry about that, sir. I like your daughter a lot, and you have to know that she's the only one for me."

Laura blushed furiously at Carmilla's seriousness and held her hand underneath the table. Carmilla squeezed back and run her thumb across Laura's knuckles.

Sherman curiously watched the interaction of the two, realising that his daughter must already be hopelessly in love with Carmilla without her realising it.

While Sherman acknowledged how adorable the two are, as Laura's father, he had to interrupt the moment to remind them that he was still there.

"Laura, how's your studies going?"

"I just submitted a paper earlier today. I still have a paper due later, and I have to cram it." Laura sheepishly admitted.

"Carmilla, you better not be the reason my daughter is slipping up on her responsibilities."

"Dad, no! She helped me with it. The only reason I could possibly make the dealine later is because she made a summary of the reading for me already." Laura looked at Carmilla with gratitude. "It's my own fault that I have to cram it," Laura said, eyes still trained at Carmilla.

"I see that my daughter is in good hands." Sherman remarked. "But don't you think for one second that I'll stop checking up on you two. You're still under surveillance, young lady." He warned Carmilla.

"Noted, sir. I promise I won't let you down."

"What are you two doing after this?"

"Carmilla has a class at 1 p.m., while I have one at 3 p.m."

"It's 12:30 already. I was hoping to interrogate Carmilla more but we're short on time."

"I never thought I'd say this but it's a great thing that I still have a class."

Sherman chuckled at the remark and ruffled Carmilla's hair from across the table. "Ah, kid. Take your time, enjoy college. You still have your futures ahead of you."

Sherman asked for the bill and paid for it. Carmilla gave a tip to the waitress as Sherman eyed her.

He then whispered to his daughter, "Is her family loaded?"

"Yeah, kind of. Why?"

"I don't know, she has this princess-y vibe."

"More like a countess. But, eh."

Carmilla could fully hear the whispered conversation and chuckled inwardly, as Laura seemed to forget that Carmilla has vampire hearing.

"I'm just gonna drop you two off at the campus and I'm gonna get going. I still have work to do at home."

"Dad, you didn't have to come if you had stuff to do."

"I missed you, sweetheart. I can't help it. I'm sorry I surprise you, though."

"Just text me next time, Dad."

"Yeah, I don't wanna see anything even more _compromising_ next time."

"Dad!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	19. I Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short talks about the future
> 
> CW: smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from a song of the same title by mitksi. It's in the [ official playlist. ](https://open.spotify.com/user/12151868109/playlist/7perzVCyVgWRSusRCk9M8M?si=fXNeQ3bGR3atNZP_DYLgkQ)
> 
> this chapter is for clara, who's horny.

Laura made the deadline for her 3 p.m. paper, thanks to Carmilla's help. What she did have to add and edit was very minimal, as what Carmilla wrote was already concise and to the point. She could only thank the universe for giving her such a surprisingly accomodating girlfriend.

She came home to the dorms to find herself alone, as Carmilla still had to catch a talk on Goethe for a minor subject.

It was then that Danny texted her, asking her to meet up. Laura ignored the message, as it was too late for any making up to happen. If she wanted to be friends, now was not the time. Not if Carmilla didn't at least know about it. Whatever Danny had in mind, it would have to be shelved for another time.

Later, Carmilla came home with some take out for Laura and 'soymilk' for herself. They had their simple dinner together, watching old reruns of The Golden Girls together, which Carmilla remembered fondly. Every so often Carmilla would interrupt their watch to tell a little tidbit that happened to her when the episode first aired.

At that, Laura started to wonder about growing old together.

"How do you think we'll look like, thirty years from now?" Laura asked.

"I don't want to think about that."

"Why not?"

"It depresses me a lot, to be honest. This isn't the first time this could or would happen for me.

"It is the first time for me." Laura said quietly.

An uncomfortable silence settled between the two of them as they ate their dinner. The two shot looks at each other, neither one speaking a word.

"I want to be with you, always. I'm starting to have a hard time imagining how my life was before you, and it's making me twitchy."

"You can never spend your life without me, cutie. As long as you let me, I'll be here for you."

"But what about you, Carm? How will you be when I die?"

Carmilla could not say a word, already anticipating the pain of their separation because of Laura's shorter lifespan. For all she knew, their relationship might not even reach the end of Laura's life; other couples already have so many problems, and this one just had to be added into the mix.

After the two finished their dinner, the two cuddled on Laura's tiny bed despite the discomfort of their earlier topic that they haplessly tried to avoid, Carmilla cooing to Laura as she was already half-asleep. Carmilla said something about how Laura was always trying to sleep away the time they were together that she couldn't figure out how they were still dating yet.

Laura was annoyed so the two got into a short tickle fight, until one of them was out of breath (obviously Laura), and the other chuckled at the other girl's antics. Laura's face turned serious and asked Carmilla to do something for her, something that Carmilla hasn't done for her in a long time.

"Farmboy, sing for me."

"As you wish."

Carmilla, hovering above Laura, started singing.

_I will take good care of you_

Her hands travelled along the other girl's collarbones while her nose brushed lightly between the dips of her breasts, inhaling the scent of daffodils enveloping the shorter girl. Carmilla looked up to Laura, seeking consent, and the other girl nodded.

_I will take good care of you_

She held the clothed chest lightly in her hands, as if afraid that she might break them.

_Everything you feel is good_

One finger traced along the zipper of Laura's jeans, and her breath hitched along with the action. Carmilla started to lightly massage her inner thighs over the jeans, and she squirmed underneath Carmilla's touch as she crossed her thighs together.

_If you would only let you_

Carmilla chuckled after singing the line.

_I will wash your hair at night_

Carmilla made Laura sit up and carefully took off Laura's green tank top and inhaled the fruity scent of her shampoo in her hair. A perk of being a vampire is that your senses are not dulled by overexposure to stimuli, so she took her time thoroughly enjoying the smell of Laura's locks.

_And dry it off with care_

Carmilla traced Laura's half-naked body with her eyes, licking her lips in anticipation as she sang. Laura took off Carmilla's oversized band shirt and breath hitched yet again at the sight.

_I will see your body bare_

Carmilla slowly unclasped Laura's bra, throwing it away at once after the deed was done; she touched the exposed pink tips with care, her lips shortly making contact with them.

_And still I will live here_

She started sucking on a spot at the crook of Laura's neck and shoulder after singing the line, leaving a bruise-like mark on the area. Laura breathed heavily and scratched Carmilla's back with her fingers as she writhed with pleasure.

_So stay with me_

Laura removed Carmilla's bra as well, opting to squeeze, kiss and suck more ravenously than the other girl. She was overflowing with need, physically aching for Carmilla to just be with her, to just be one with her, to just meld into each other's flesh until she couldn't know or tell where Carmilla ends and she begins. 

_Hold my hand_

They intertwined their fingers as Laura's tongue danced with Carmilla's nipple, brushing each other's hands with their thumbs.

_There’s no need_  
_To be brave_

They locked each other in an embrace, savouring the moment of skin against skin, hand upon hand, heart against heart.

_And all the quiet nights you bear_

Laura slowly kissed Carmilla. At this point, Carmilla stopped singing and instead played the song in her mind. Laura pulled off Carmilla's shorts and threw them away without second thought. She quickly slipped out of her own jeans and kissed Carmilla again.

_Seal them up with care_

Carmilla pulled away from Laura and left a peck on Laura's forehead. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and kissed the soft shell, slightly nibbling as Laura earned gooseflesh from the contact.

_No one needs to know they’re there_

Carmilla pushed Laura down yet again, making her lie on her back. 

_For I will hold them for you ___

Carmilla pulled on Laura's boyshorts with her teeth, caressing Laura's stomach all the while. 

‘ _Cause all I ever wanted is here_

She kissed her thigh, her hip bones, her navel; Carmilla kissed Laura everywhere except where she needed it the most. Her hands travelled up and down Laura's body, smooth and lithe against her touch. 

_____All I ever wanted_  
_All I want is_  
_Always you_  
_It’s always you_

Carmilla slowly and languorously dipped her tongue into the wet folds and she heard a loud sigh coming from the shorter girl. She pulled up the hood and sucked and nipped at at the swelling nub between the girl's legs, enticing Carmilla to sink herself deeper between the walls of Laura's insides.

__

_And we’re not out of the tunnel_  
_I bet you though there's an end_

She plunged one finger, easing it in. She took another once she felt Laura was comfortable with Carmilla inside of her. Slowly but surely, she pumped in and out of Laura, playing with the peaked flesh of her breasts, coaxing the younger girl to give in to her, to savour the moment, to just let go and let her lead her into the peak of her undoing. 

_Stay with me_  
_Hold my hand_  
_There's no need_  
_To be brave_

Laura held tighter against Carmilla's free hand as the other started to slowly pick up its pace, Carmilla sucking and biting Laura's neck all the while. Her thumb played with the peaked flesh between Laura's legs as two of her fingers pumped in and out of her, feeling Laura quicken. 

_And while you sleep_  
_I'll be scared_  
_So by the time you wake_  
_I'll be brave_

"Carm, more." 

Carmilla easily acquiesced to the woman's wishes. Had Laura asked her for the stars, the moon, the universe, she would have given them to her; she was sure of it. Carmilla gave her what she wanted until she couldn't take anymore, until she was heaving beneath Carmilla, until she fell apart in the arms of her lover. 

__

__

Laura flipped Carmilla over without missing a beat and pulled off Carmilla's panties. She searched for the nub with her fingers and rubbed in slow circles, Carmilla humming in approval as Laura found her weak spot. Laura always wondered how Carmilla's body is usually literally cold, but hot and wet whenever they did these sorts of activities. It amused her to no end, how willing Carmilla was under her spell. Her chest welled with pride, knowing that this woman had centuries of experience behind her, yet so easy to fall apart upon her touch. 

__

__

As Laura immediately plunged two fingers inside her, Carmilla flipped them over again and rode Laura's hand. It turned Laura on to unimaginable lengths, seeing Carmilla thoroughly enjoy herself with Laura's hand not having to do any work. 

__

__

Carmilla, emboldened with want, removed herself from Laura's grasp and sat on her face, grinding herself on Laura's mouth. Laura tightly wound her hands on Carmilla's hips, while Carmilla reached behind her and plunged fingers in and out of Laura. Shouts of more, more, more, echoed in the walls of their dorm room, not a care in the world if anyone could hear them. 

The two have had sex for a couple of times already; but this, here, within the sheer sadness at the first hint of potentially damaging separation, left uncommunicated between them, this was the first time they made love. 

_I love you._ Carmilla said in her mind. The other girl had no way of knowing, although the same thoughts were in her mind.

They both fell apart at the same time, breaths hitching and bodies aching deliciously in the best way possible.

Laura, however, seemed to have not yet had enough and pushed Carmilla down. She left kisses down Carmilla's naked body; form her throat, to her collarbones, the dip between her breasts, her navel, her inner thighs...

Laura kissed the mound of flesh between Carmilla's legs, earning her a gasp. She bucked her hips against Laura, willing her to do more, but the younger girl merely chuckled and placed even more ghosts of kisses on the flesh.

"I swear to god cupcake, if you don't--"

The rest of what Carmilla wanted to say died in her lips as Laura's tongue danced between her, lips sucking and teeth nipping in all the right placed. Her fingers followed suit, teasing Carmilla's entrance. Carmilla was very impatient, however, and took Laura's hand and pushed the fingers into her.

Laura laughed but curled her fingers in the way she discovered Carmilla wanted it; she pulled in and out, in and out, and in and out yet again, Carmilla's hands still guiding her.

"More, cupcake. More!"

Laura lost her patience and grabbed her necktie, tying Carmilla's hands to the headboard.

"Keep still. Let me get to work."

Carmilla could easily snap the fabric, but she sure as hell won't after that comment from her girlfriend. Laura shut her up, and shut up she will stay.

Laura pushed Carmilla's thighs up, placing the older girl's legs on her back. Get to work, she did. Carmilla was a heaving mess, despite the fact that she did not need to breathe.

Laura flipped Carmilla over, putting her on her knees. Her hands were still tied to the headboard, and Laura ate her out from behind. She stuck her tongue in and out of Carmilla, spreading her folds with her thumbs as she squeezed her cheeks tightly.

She brought Carmilla up to her and bucked her hip against Carmilla's, who only seemed to be even more speechless, muttering only unintelligible syllables. She slipped a finger inside Carmilla and pulled it out immediately, which earned her a whimper. She made Carmilla face her and kissed her fervently; she pulled back and made Carmilla suck on the finger that was just inside of her. Laura felt herself get wet, seeing Carmilla enjoy her own taste from Laura's fingers.

The two stared at each other for a very long time, quiet and panting.

"I should totally annoy you more." Carmilla said as she broke off the necktie and pushed Laura down, her hands landing on the younger girl's thighs.

* * *

It was the next day that Laura found herself slowly being taken by Carmilla's sloppy habit of leaving things in her pockets after removing them, wondering how to make less than 8 dollars work to buy the two of them lunch.

She was annoyed, but she still liked how Carmilla rubbed off on her; especially how she got off on her.

They ended up not eating lunch on time as they went on another romp, wildly cavorting yet again for almost the entire day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think.
> 
> PS I hope you enjoyed it, Clara. :))))))


	20. The Dean of Students

In June, the Dean of Students arranged a meeting with all the Dean's Listers for the prior winter semester. She wanted to talk with them privately, one on one, and check on their progress with their studies as well as their extracurriculars, as a sort of acknowledgment for their efforts.

Laura and Carmilla were among the lot of them. So were Laf, Perry, and Will.

It was of note that Dean Lilita Morgan was not duty-bound to conduct the interviews; all she had to do was check on the general rights and welfare of the students and their concerns with their organisations.

Carmilla, knowing her mother, thought this might have been an excuse to talk to Laura without making it seem inappropriate. She must have caught wind of her relationship with Laura and decided it was time to talk to her.

Laura, for her part, was happy that her abilities were recognised at one moment and a nervous wreck at the next upon the reminder that she had been sleeping with the Dean's daughter.

"What do I do, Carm? What do I say??"

"It's probably just gonna be a run of the mill interview with you as an achieving student," Carmilla lied. "She does this all the time." The next statement was true, but Carmilla couldn't reassure Laura that their interview would be confined to such matters. It is most probable that Lilita knew that they were dating, as pretty much everyone knew at that point.

Laura's interview was set from 2:15 p.m. to 2:30 p.m.

Fifteen minutes.

That was all the time that Dean Morgan gave her, as she would to all the other students; that is, if the interviews with all the other students were even for real. Sure, the dean has done it before, but Silas is a huge university with different colleges and programs. It would take an unreasonable amount of her time to talk to _all_ of the Dean's Listers. Whatever her motivations are were unclear to either of the two. They would know if Laf, Perry, and Will were also interviewed.

They thus agreed to talk after everyone's interviews were done.

Laura was the first to be interviewed within their group, which made her even more anxious.

She was made to wait inside a purple room, decorated with paintings from the Baroque period, with a receptionist on the other end of the room. It made her think that it was so very royal of the dean to pick purple. She was seated on an antique velvet couch with two other students, two girls, presumably the ones scheduled for 2:30 p.m. and 2:45 p.m. It was only 2:10, which meant that a student was still inside the Dean's office, probably wrapping up.

Laura decided to talk to the girls to take her mind off of the anxiety currently eating her up.

"Hi, I'm Laura. Hollis. I'm a freshman journ major. You two are?"

"I'm Alex Hunt. This one's Alice Im. We're both freshman journ majors, just like you."

_Hmm. So we were called by year, major, and in alphabetical order. It checks out. These interviews seem legit._

"Hey, so we belong to the same program. How come I never see you two around?"

"We actually share one class," Alice spoke up. "You're just always seated at the front so you don't notice."

Laura smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck. "Sounds like me."

"What are you in here for, Laura?" Alex asked.

"What do you mean? Isn't this the interviews for the Dean's Listers?"

"I don't think so. We got called out here because we vandalised school property."

Laura's heart immediately pumped faster than it had before. A meeting for troublemakers? At that moment, her name was called as a boy who looked as if he had been crying walked out of the dean's office.

"Laura Hollis."

"Oh, okay." Laura managed to say weakly. "Talk to you later."

Laura entered the room and closed the door behind her. The entire room was painted cardinal red which made Laura think again, _How royal of her_. The room was imposing; there were no plants, but there were a lot of antique wooden carvings around. It seemed that antiques held antiques, as even the books and the paper weights looked old. The floor had a dark grey carpet that looked as prisitine as Laura's white ironed shirt that she chose to wear that day, feeling that she had to look professional and respectable in front of the dean.

The dean was looking out the window, observing the athletes playing and practicing outside. She was wearing a pantsuit and her hair was up in a bun, all six feet of her. Her arms seemed to have been crossed as she stood there.

"Miss Hollis, please take a seat," she said without turning around.

She then took a seat at her black leather chair, looking like an elegant glamazon.

"Let's get straight to the point, Laura Hollis."

Laura gulped audibly.

"You're lagging behind."

Laura was bewildered. "I'm sorry?"

"You studies, Miss Hollis. Your grades this sommersemester, I'm afraid, shows that they're about to be lower than they were last semester. What are you planning to do about this? I'd hate to see you out of the list."

"I... I'll try to focus more, ma'am."

"Good."

"Was that all, ma'am?"

"Now that you've mentioned it, no. You have no extracurriculars. It will do you good to earn more credits. I take it you're into writing? Why not join a club?"

"I'll look into it ma'am."

"Good. Now on to what you were thinking you were really here for. Let's talk about Carmilla, shall we?"

* * *

Laura exited the room with her mouth hanging agape, expression unfathomable except from the obvious surprise in her eyes.

"Alex Hunt," said the receptionist.

"Hey Laura, Alex was just messing with you," said Alice. "We're both dean's listers. She's always like this," she chuckled.

"You made me so nervous." Laura blurted. "I'm kinda dating her daughter." Laura said in a hushed tone.

"Wait, you're THAT Laura?" Alice said.

"We're sorry, girl. Go and take a break. It's my turn now." Alex said, standing up.

"Alright, I have to go." Laura said absent-mindedly, her face back in shock, as if remembering the last 15 minutes.

Laura went out of the waiting room then out of the building.

She saw Laf, Perry, and Will waiting for her in the park, on a bench underneath the trees where she mistook Carmilla's actions with SJ as flirting.

"So, what's up frosh?"

"What happened?" Will asked.

"Where's Carm?"

"We were supposed to meet up here around thirty minutes ago, but she's obviously running late."

Laura was about to run to the dorms when Perry held her by the arm.

"Hey, tell us what happened first, please? Should we be worried?"

"No. All of you should be fine. It's just some pep talk about how you can improve your grades."

"Really?" Will asked nervously.

"Yeah, I wouldn't worry if I were you, Will. It was pretty brief," Laura said, her eyes unfocused.

"Are you sure about that, frosh? You look all shifty and stuff."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just have to find Carmilla."

"Alright," Perry said. "Go on, dear. Sorry to keep you back."

"No prob, Perr."

She went straight to the dorms where she saw Carmilla lazing around Laura's bed. Carmilla stood up and took Laura by the hand, immediately kissing her deeply. Laura kissed back tentatively, not entirely able to resist her deep wanting for the other girl.

Carmilla thought it was unusual that Laura did not fully reciprocate her advances. She pulled away and pressed her forehead against Laura's, looking deep into her eyes as she cradled her face. Laura held her by the hips.

"Hey, cupcake. Is there something wrong?"

Laura slowly pulled away and went to her bed and sat down, wiping her wet lips. She tapped the space beside her and stared at Carmilla.

"Carm, we need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear what you think.


	21. Laura Hollis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What did the dean want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry bc this is such a short chapter. I've been busy with school and life and depression. I hope this doesn't feel too rushed.

"Carm, we need to talk."

"Uh, hey, what's up?" Carmilla asked worriedly.

Laura averted her gaze, looking at nothing in particular. "Your mum's a bit scary, no?"

"A bit does not do her justice," Carmilla chuckled. "Yeah, why? Did she say anything bad to you? Did she hurt you?"

She looked back to Carmilla. "No. At least, I don't think so. But darn, was I scared."

Carmilla slowly approached the bed and sat next to Laura, holding her hand.

"I won't let her hurt you."

"Will she?"

"She might, but she won't, as long as I'm here."

"That protectiveness might probably kill you," Laura joked.

"Yeah, but a life without you is not worth living," Carmilla answered seriously. Laura blushed profusely and squeezed back Carmilla's hand. "I'm pretty much dead already, so it won't be much of a change, won't it?"

Laura playfully punched Carmilla's arm, who rubbed the arm in mock-hurt.

"So, what did mother say this time?" Carmilla asked as she wrapped her arms around Laura, who put one arm over Carmilla's shoulders. They tended to always have at least a point of contact everytime they talked, and today was no exception; in fact, it would likely be more needed today.

"What do you mean 'this time'? It's the first time we talked."

"Yeah, but it wouldn't be the first time she gave one of my girlfriends 'the talk,' so to speak."

Laura sighed at the reminder that there was another Laura that Carmilla used to be in love with. "I see." Laura brushed off the thought, as it was the first time she consciously had an inkling of how she really felt for the other girl. It was the first time she actually noticed that the word "love" was on her mind, due in part to the Dean's own words earlier that day.

"So what happened?" Carmilla prodded.

"I don't understand the Dean."

* * *

"Good. Now on to what you were thinking you were really here for. Let's talk about Carmilla, shall we?"

Laura stared blankly at the Dean, unsure of what to make of the prompting.

"Surely, you came here knowing I'll talk to you about her?"

"I-I'm sorry?"

"You heard me the first time," The Dean said sternly.

Laura meekly nodded but kept her mouth shut. She didn't know what to answer to that; to say that she was intimidated into silence was a huge understatement.

The Dean smiled; it was not menacing, looking like a very casual smile you would give to someone you knew when you run into them in the street. Still, it was a smile that said that she finds nothing amusing in this situation.

"Alright. Miss Laura Hollis, my daughter's _girlfriend_ , I take it?"

Laura had nothing to do but nod again, afraid to even say a word.

"Let me get things straight: you will _not_ hurt my daughter. You will not take her entire time. You are alive simply because I let you, and you will not do anything to jeopardise that," the Dean said. She did simply say. It was not a request, neither was it an order. She just said, as one would say how hot it was in the summer. It was as casual as a remark. "Is that understood?"

Laura nodded, but her brows started to furrow. The entire set-up of this talk was starting to irritate her, afraid as she was. She did not like being talked down to, mother of her girlfriend be damned.

"Good. You are dismissed."

"Was that all?" Laura asked incredulously.

"Did I not make myself clear?"

"You did say that we will talk about Carmilla, but there was not much talking on my part." Laura tried to be as brave as she could, no matter how intimidating the older woman is.

The dean glared, albeit with a hint of amusement in her eyes that Laura failed to notice.

"What do you have to say, then?"

"First thing, ma'am. I will never hurt your daughter. Second of all, I'm not taking her entire time. If anything, _she_ takes up _my_ time. Do you know how surprsiningly clingy your daughter is? Lastly, you're letting me live? Why are you even telling me this? Was that a threat? I'm just dating your daughter, not whisking her away forever."

Dean Lilita Morgan stared at her for a moment that seemed to stretch out forever, her expression not betraying her thoughts. After a minute, she laughed a throaty laugh, the kind that Mattie did so elegantly, although it was in a way that was impossibly more elegant than hers.

"You're such an amusing human. I understand why Mircalla would fall in love with you."

"N-nobody said anything about love!" Laura tried to correct. She was scared, sure, but this was still her girlfriend's mum. She was stuck in a weird yet familiar place, like taking a trip to the beach in winter.

"Deny it as much as you want, but I know her better than you do. I know when she's in love. She always falls too quick and too hard, that I have to watch out for her," the Dean said. "My high priestess deserves no less."

"I care for her, too," Laura told the Dean sincerely. "I like her a lot, and I won't do anything that would make her hate me."

"She will never."

"How do you know for sure?"

"I've known her for years longer than your human life could ever hope to see."

Silence befell the two very different women, neither of them daring to speak a word. Eventually, the stillness became too much for Laura to bear that she interrupted it.

"What is this talk really about, ma'am?"

The dean shared a look with her that seemed so tired and withered, so much that it didn't seem to fit the strong woman before her.

"I cannot watch her get hurt. Not again."

"I will not hurt her, ma'am."

"You cannot promise that. Not after what you did."

"What did I do?"

"You broke her."

* * *

"So that was that. She seemed to care a lot about you, and I do, too. I just don't get why she had to threaten me, or what exactly I did that made her so wary of me."

Carmilla hugged Laura tighter and sighed.

"I think I do know, cupcake." She removed herself from Laura's arms and stared into her eyes. "I've talked with Mattie about this before."

"And? What is it?" Laura asked.

"Are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Yes, Carm. I'm sure," Laura said with as much sincerity as she could muster.

"I think you're the very same Laura I fell in love with in 1698."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	22. Laura and Laura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been in the middle of a bad depressive episode, ao I'm sorry I haven't been updating as often.

Laura stopped breathing for a second.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I just said. You're the same person."

Laura's brows furrowed in contemplation, reeling from that insane theory her girlfriend had.

"What? No."

"Yes." Carmilla insisted.

"But that's impossible," Laura said, shaking her head.

"And vampires aren't?" Carmilla quipped.

Laura shot a dour look at Carmilla, who shrugged as apologetically as she could.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

The two shared a long, uncomfortable silence, neither of them looking at the other.

The smaller girl began to overthink about how Carmilla had still been projecting the first Laura onto her. _Maybe she hasn't moved on yet._ She thought to herself. Maybe Carmilla still saw her as a replacement for that old Laura, who just happened to look exactly like her, and who happened to act in several similar ways. Maybe they acted similar not really because they were, but because Carmilla couldn't see her for who she really is, but for who she resembled.

Maybe they had to take some time off.

"I don't think this would work, Carm."

"You don't think what would work?" Carmilla asked nervously.

"This relationship thing."

"What? Why!?" Carmilla asked again, now panicking.

"See, Carm, you're still clearly attached to that girl. And I don't blame you. You lived with her. She died with you. I can never outdo that, not unless you move on," Laura said, tearing up. She tried to stifle her sobs but was mostly unsuccessful.

"Laura, no. We have to talk about this. You can't just go around making decisions for the two of us." Carmilla's eyes started to well up. "You're her. I believe that much. We have to talk to mother, she might know something."

"But Carm, that's the problem. Even your mum has been projecting that Laura onto me. Hell, maybe even Mattie does, the way she looked at me when we first met. I'm not that girl, Carm."

"But you are, cupcake," Carmilla pleaded.

"You promised, Carm. You promised that we'd work through this."

"I'm sorry I made you upset. But I believe I'm right."

"Sure, I have to admit, you looked familiar when we first met, but that can't mean I knew you from some, I don't know, previous life? That's impossible." Laura wiped away the tears that started to fall. "You're a popular girl, it's no wonder you looked familiar."

"Wait. You haven't told me that."

"That you looked familiar?"

"Yes!" Carmilla grabbed Laura by the arm and started to pull her towards the door. "We have to talk to mother. We have to know for sure."

"Carm, I told you. You're popular. I might have seen you somewhere before."

"We can't take that chance!" Carmilla blurted out loud. Laura stared at her for a second that seemed to stretch out across eternity, unable to figure out what to say. This was the first time she saw Carmilla uncomposed.

Carmilla let go of Laura's arm and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I'm sorry. If I'm wrong, feel free to never speak to me again. But I know it. I can feel it in my bones. You're Laura."

"I am. But I'm not that Laura."

"We have to make sure, Laura. If mother thinks so, too, there's a good chance that you really are my Laura all along." Carmilla looked at Laura, eyes pleading. "If you're going to break up with me, at least give me this last thing, Laura. Give me this one last thing. That's all I ask."

Laura relented to Carmilla's plea, and walked, almost ran, towards the administration building.

The two arrived at the Dean's office, a flock of people blocking their way. There were a tad too many students waiting for their appointment with the Dean, but Carmilla cut in line, pulling Laura along with her.

"Out of my way, you dingdongs!"

"Ms. Karnstein, there's someone still inside." The receptionist said as she blocked their way.

"I have to talk to mother. You don't want to cross me right now."

Laura and the receptionist shared a look, both gulping at the slight tingling at the back of their necks at Carmilla's low, threatening voice; the receptionist out of fear, while Laura, out of a bit of the same and a bit out of finding her soon to be ex-girlfriend a bit too sexy, even under the circumstances.

The receptionist moved out of the way and let Carmilla through. She opened the door and saw a young man sitting before the Dean, presumably to discuss his performance.

"Mother."

The Dean ordered the student inside to get out of the room. He scurried off hurriedly and closed the door behind him.

"This better be good, Mircalla."

Carmilla pulled Laura in front of her.

"Is she Laura?"

"Yes, I believe I talked to her earlier today. Miss Laura Hollis of the Journalism program."

"You know what I mean, mother."

Lilita Morgan sighed.

"So you have finally come to me for this. I've been waiting for you, actually. It took you long enough, dear."

Carmilla took a seat in front of the Dean and motioned Laura to do the same. Carmilla sat so comfortably, as if this wasn't the first time she sat there, as if it were her chair and not the Dean's. Laura did so tentatively, looking back and forth at the two intimidating women before her.

"Miss Hollis, this isn't the first time we've met."

"Yes, we met earlier today, as you said." Laura said with a small voice.

"Now don't be so obstinate, _Laura_. You are here for a reason."

"And what reason might that be?" Carmilla cut in.

"I brought her here."

Carmilla and Laura were silenced. They shared a long look, which the Dean interrupted.

"You, my dear, look exactly like Carmilla's Laura from three centuries ago." Lilita continued.

"I've heard that much."

"I'm not finished." The Dean glared at Laura. "Not only that, I've looked into your life extensively."

"Isn't that a violation of my privacy or something?"

"That wouldn't really stop mother."

Lilita chuckled. "I have my ways."

"What did you find?" Laura asked nervously.

"Everything." The Dean gazed at her, smiling knowingly.

"I'm sorry, but I don't really see how this plays into that whole 'I'm Laura' thing."

"I looked into your life to see if... certain patterns exist."

"What kind of patterns?" Carmilla asked.

"Her personality. Her likes, dislikes. Her tendency to do certain things. I compared that with how I knew that other moppet of yours. That's why I brought her here; to observe her more closely."

"What did you find, mother? Is it her?"

The Dean sighed. "I cannot say for sure. But the evidence seems to point towards the affirmative. I'd have to look into it a bit further."

Carmilla's shoulders visibly relaxed.

"You hear that cupcake? There's a huge chance that it's you!"

"All I heard was that she cannot say for sure."

"Yes, but there's a very big chance that it's you."

"Carmilla. This has to stop."

Carmilla snapped her mouth shut, her eyes looking confused.

"But cupcake, I--"

"I love you, Carm. I really do. But this can't be the way we do things. You can't be loving both of us at the same time."

"Laura." Carmilla pleaded.

"Thank you for this talk, Dean. I appreciate your concern for my grades and myself, as well as for Carmilla's, but I believe we're done here." Laura stood up and made way towards the door. Carmilla followed her and held her by the hand.

"Laura, don't leave. Please." Carmilla said in a hushed tone, although the Dean could hear them regardless.

"I'm not. I'm going back to the dorms."

"Please don't do this, Laura."

"This is unfair to you and to me."

"We have to talk about this, Laura."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"There is! I love you, too, and--"

"There isn't!" Laura snapped back, now crying. "You don't love me. You love that Laura. I'm just some proxy--"

"I love you. Regardless of whether you're that Laura or not."

"No, you obviously don't." Laura pulled her hand away and ran out, leaving Carmilla surprised, alone with her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading!


	23. Will they or won't they?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens now? Will they or won't they?

"Oh dear. There, there. Do you want a hot cocoa?"

Perry tried her best to comfort Laura. She was baking cookies when Laura suddenly barged into her and Laf's room. When the two of them asked her what was wrong, she suddenly burst into tears.

"I think we just broke up."

"What do you mean 'you think'?"

"I walked out. I didn't even listen to what she had to say. I was so upset."

"You're entitled to feel that way, frosh." Laf said, reaching for a tissue and giving it to Laura. They then gave her a warm cookie, which Laura gladly took. "Can you tell us what happened?"

Laura recounted the events of the day to the two. They only nodded to her as she tearfully told them how Carmilla seemed to have been simply using her to relive her moments with that past Laura.

"I understand what you're coming from, frosh. I totally get why you're upset."

Laura nodded, blowing her nose into the tissue.

"What if Vampirella's right, though?" Laf asked.

"You mean if I'm the same Laura? But that's impossible."

"Yeah, but have you considered, just what if?"

Laura remained silent, unsure of what to make of that question. She honestly have never entertained that possibility, opting to deny it instead. She mulled over it for a few minutes as she sniffed, and finally answered.

"For me, it shouldn't matter if I'm the same Laura. What matters is now."

"Yeah, but can you really fault her for pining after the possibility that you two are one and the same person?"

Laura grunted. "I guess not. But it still made me upset. It hurt."

"We know, dear," Perry said. "We're not trying to guilt you into coming back to her or anything. We're just trying to see from everyone's perspective."

"Do you love her?" Laf asked.

"I do." Laura said in between sniffles. "I told her I loved her for the first time and she did the same. But it was all wrong."

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Cupcake? Are you there?"

Laura didn't answer, the three of them inside the dorm room just opting to keepi quiet. Laf motioned for her to answer the door, but she vehemently refused.

Perry made to answer the door but Laura pulled her from its direction and made her sit on the bed with her 

"I'm so sorry I hurt you cupcake. I didn't mean to, but I know I did."

Still no answer from Laura.

"Please come back home with me?"

Laura still remained silent, but she couldn't resist Carmilla. She opened the door, and Carmilla immediately saw the dried streaks of tears on her face. The dark-haired woman looked unsure of what to do, looking like she wanted to scoop up Laura in her arms, but at the same time, run away from her.

"I'm so sorry, cutie."

Laura mouthed a 'thank you' to Laf and Perry and closed the door behind her.

"I'm coming with you only because I've been imposing on Laf and Perry for too long already." Laura took Carmilla's hand, intertwining their fingers together, and pulled her towards Room 307. "This doesn't mean anything."

"Okay." Carmilla said, her face grave.

They entered their room, both sighing heavily as they felt the events of the day weigh on their shoulders. Laura plopped down on Carmilla's bed and hugged her pillow, inhaling deeply the scent that remained there. Carmilla stood idly by her own bed, scratching the back of her neck, unsure of what to do. The blonde girl tapped the empty side of the bed; the taller girl understood and took off her boots, lying beside Laura without touching her.

Laura faced her and suddenly pulled her into a tight hug, bursting into tears on her shoulder. Carmilla started to panic.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" She knew that so many things were wrong, but she was unsure which one made Laura upset at this particular moment.

"It's just frustrating. You're the one who hurt me, but I can only find comfort in your arms."

"I'm sorry, cutie."

"Stop apologising and just hug me back, dammit."

Carmilla did as she was told, and rubbed Laura's back with her palms. She hummed to her to try and calm her down, but the smaller girl was still crying. She felt a pang in her chest as she felt entirely aware of her effect on the younger woman.

"I'm sorry I upset you, cupcake. And I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you I loved you more properly."

Carmilla placed her forehead against Laura's and looked her in the eyes. "I love you, Laura."

More tears spilled out of Laura'e eyes as she tried and failed to say 'I love you' back.

"No need to answer me right away. I know you love me, and that's enough for now."

"I still don't forgive you." Laura said, hiccuping.

"I don't expect you to, cupcake. I know I went beyond my bounds back there."

Laura answered apprehensively "And I understand how you feel, Carm. I really do. That's exactly why I'm hurt."

"I know. I'm sorry."

They lied there for an hour, Laura eventually crying herself to sleep as Carmilla caressed her hair and hummed sweet nothings into her ear.

* * *

Laura woke up in the dorm room all alone. It was already dark, and Carmilla was not beside her. She started to panic, wondering out loud. if Carmilla finally left her.

She stood up and turned on the lights. Carmilla's things were still in the room. She told herself not to panic, to be less anxious. Sure, they were fighting, but Carmilla made a promise not to walk out on her ever again. She paced back and forth in the room, reeling from the fact that Carmilla was nowhere to be found despite said promise.

It was then that the door opened.

"Cupcake, I bought you dinner. I didn't know if you wanted Chinese take out or piz--"

Whatever Carmilla was about to say died in her throat as Laura locked her in an embrace, unwilling to let go.

Carmilla tentatively wrapped her arms around the smaller girl and cooed to her. "I' not going anywhere, cutie. I'm here. I got you."

"We're still fighting, okay? We're not done."

"I know, I know."

"Don't you think for one second that bribing me with food is gonna work."

Carmilla chuckled. "Yes ma'am."

The dark-haired woman pulled away from Laura and set the food down.

"I got you both Chinese take out and pizza since I didn't know what you were in the mood for. I didn't want to wake you up."

"..thank you."

Carmilla smiled and cupped Laura's cheek with one hand, the other tucking the blonde's hair behind her ear. She gave Laura the food, who immediately went digging in with gusto. It seemed that crying did a number on the smaller girl.

"Do you really think I'm that Laura?" She finally asked in between bites.

"It doesn't matter what I think anymore, Laura."

"But it does."

"Not if it upsets you this much. I thought it over, cupcake. And you're right; I should let the past go." Carmilla took her hand and squeezed it gently. "I wouldn't want to ruin my future with you because I can't let go of the past."

Laura wiped the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I am, if you'll still have me." After a beat, Carmilla added, "Mother and I discussed about this. She helped me see how wrong I was."

"The dean did? But I thought she didn't like me."

"She does. She just has an odd way of showing it."

"And what did she say?"

"She said that if I liked you enough, it shouldn't matter if you were the same Laura or if this is all just a giant coincidence. It's you who matters, not any of your possible iterations."

"And what did you say?"

"Nothing. I was so excited about the idea that I fell in love with the same person again that I failed to see how it would affect you. I'm so so sorry, cutie."

Laura leaned in and gave Carmilla a peck on the cheek.

"I still don't forgive you. We're still fighting, you got that?"

Carmilla nodded and chuckled, sipping blood from her cup.

"Alright."

"I'm serious, Carm." Laura said as she hugged Carmilla close while eating her pizza.

"I know."

"Good."

"We'll work through this, cutie. I believe in us."

"Good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


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